Erica Lucke Dean

"Making the world a better place, one book at a time."

things you should never do while driving

I had a great day today.  It was almost nice outside.  I didn’t need a jacket or an umbrella and I was able to spend half the day on appointments out of the office.  I love those days when I get to go out to visit clients.  Especially when I get to do it with my favorite coworker/friend.  

The first order of business today was getting a snack.  It was ten-thirty, and ten-thirty equals mid morning snack time!  Somehow we always end up eating when we’re together.  But we’re both trying to eat healthier (it’s been over two weeks since I’ve had diet Coke or Thin Mints) so it was a healthy treat for us today. 

The local CVS pharmacy isn’t usually known for its health food, but that didn’t stop us.  I cruised the protein bar aisle while she disappeared down another row.   I decided to go with the “Full Bar” a new all natural healthy snack bar developed by a weight loss surgeon.  What could possibly be a better recommendation than a snack bar made by a real doctor? Especially a real doctor that specializes in weight loss!  It was guaranteed to make you too full to eat a lot.  And it was peanut butter flavored.  That’s what it said on the package anyway.  So, of course, I bought it, along with the bottle of Smart water that I was supposed to drink in conjunction with the “Full Bar.”  

My friend bought a bag of beef jerky. 

Once we were buckled back in the car and the GPS was programmed for our destination, we pulled out our snacks.  While I was discovering that my “full bar” was the closest I have ever come to eating Styrofoam, my friend was scarfing down the entire bag of beef jerky.  That in itself was a sight to see.  She doesn’t look like the beef jerky type.  Actually, she looks a little bit like a Barbie doll, and I can’t imagine Barbie chowing down on dried meat products.  Then again, I’ve never been a fan of beef jerky.  It looks and smells like a dog treat.  So watching my friend devour it like it was her first meal in days, was a little off putting. 

Now I’ve seen everything.

I admit it, I’ve done a lot of things that I should not have done while driving.  I frequently talk on my phone while driving.  I have been known to text while driving.  I occasionally eat while driving.  I’ve even listened to my iPod with headphones while driving.  But I have never, ever, engaged in dental hygiene while driving—and it should definitely go on the top of the list of things you should never do while driving.  My jerky loving friend had obviously done this before.  She was traveling at fifty miles an hour on a major roadway at the same time as thoroughly flossing her teeth.  I don’t know if I could have flossed my teeth that skillfully while standing firmly on the tile in my bathroom.  And I definitely couldn’t have stayed between the lines in our lane while flossing my teeth (even one handed!)

I couldn’t watch.  But I couldn’t look away—and trust me, it wasn’t a pretty picture.  It was so gross it was hysterically funny.

When we arrived at our destination, she had to carefully get out of the car to brush the jerky crumbs from her dress.  At least we know she has very good oral hygiene. 

As for me, I’ll keep the dental floss in the bathroom where it belongs. 

And I need to find something healthy to eat that doesn’t taste like Styrofoam packing peanuts or dog treats.  I mean, what’s so great about all natural anyway?  Pine needles are all natural.  Twigs and rocks are all natural.  You won’t find me eating any of those either!  There has to be a happy medium between bad for you and good for you.  A place where the food even tastes good.  I suppose I’ll just have to keep experimenting until I find something. 

Until the next time…I guess I’ll just wash the healthy food down with a chocolate shake!

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