leave it to the beaver

Day two of my crappy health food diet.

What is wrong with Taco Bell anyway?  If I had gotten a chicken quesadilla, that would have been fairly balanced and healthy right?  It’s just cheese and chicken and some sauce on a very thin bread-type thing…right? 

Apparently not.  My husband is not letting me eat such things as fast food.  But the smell is intoxicating!  And it’s not just Taco Bell either.  They got McDonald’s at work today and asked me if I wanted some.  Did I want some?  Well, hell yeah I wanted some.  Was I allowed to have any?  Hell no, I wasn’t allowed to have any.  I was just forced to smell it while I ate my egg salad on wheat.  With a side of banana chips and a cup of ice water. 

So why don’t I feel healthier already?

I drove past a beaver on the side of the road today.  He was just grazing on something someone tossed out of their window onto the side of the road—French fries was my first guess—and I found myself envying that beaver.  He could eat anything he wanted.  He could eat rocks and dirt and overgrown grass and even half eaten French fries if he felt like it and no one would tell him he was going to screw with his blood pressure.  And why is that do you think?  I mean, besides the fact that animals don’t actually talk…the reason this beaver didn’t have to worry about anyone talking about his high blood pressure is because he has a very relaxing life.  He just wanders the side of the busy road without a care in the world.  Why can’t I be like that?  Why can’t I just wander the side of the road and eat discarded French fries? 

Because that’s really gross…that’s why!

I went back to driving and tried to focus on the fact that I would probably see that same beaver when I came back through, totally flattened because he got too close to the road, because eating dirty fries on the side of the road is dangerous to your health!  That beaver didn’t have to worry about heart disease because he wouldn’t live long enough to have high blood pressure. 

Well…maybe for one very brief and horrifying moment, and then it would be all over.

I’m very lucky to have friends and family that watch out for me, and scold me when I try to scavenge unhealthy foods from fast food death traps.  I’m very lucky that my husband won’t let me eat Taco Bell or McDonald’s.  I’m very lucky that I’m not a road kill beaver tonight.  Because things could have totally worked out differently in my life and I might have been born a beaver instead of a smart, beautiful, well-fed woman.  A woman with a very popular daily blog to write every night.   

And that would have been way worse than eating boring egg salad on wheat with banana chips and plain water.  Way worse!

Until the next time…I’ll be smiling the next time I eat my banana chips!

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Posted on May 24, 2010 .