Welcome to the Weekly Guest Blogger series.
Hello. I’m Raine, and I’m socially awkward.
Yes, really. I’m the gal who walks into a room full of strangers and looks for the nearest exit. This is somewhat surprising in light of the fact that I grew up in a large family where if you didn’t speak at the volume of a sonic boom, you were ignored. One would think I would have overcome any shyness.
Alas, such is not the case. Still, I’m sitting in front of a computer and not face-to-face with you. I can do this. *Takes deep breath*
For those of you who don’t know me, I’ll share a few tidbits about myself so we can get better acquainted. I’m a wedding planner. I write young adult fantasy/romance novels. I’m a wife and mother. And sleep is something I merely fantasize about during the ten-minute drive to the grocery store once a week.
Perhaps by now you’ve got an image in your head of J. Lo from “The Wedding Planner” crossed with Stephenie Meyer’s rabid reader base and a healthy nod toward June Cleaver (or some not-so-dated paragon of domestic bliss). If so, I’m sorry to have misled you.
It’s quite amusing to me how many misconceptions people have about my life when they first meet me. Since I shy away from social experiences whenever possible, I have to wonder if this is common. Does everyone deal with people making wild assumptions about their lives based off just a few things about them?
Allow me to share a few personal examples so you can let me know if this is true for you.
Misconception #1: You’re a wedding planner? Wow—that must be SO glamorous!
Sad Truth: No, it’s not. It’s a role surrounded by madness and the pressure of ensuring that the single most important day of a bride’s life goes off without a hitch. I’ve had crazed brides ordering me to pick up the poop left behind by their “ring bearer” dog. Classy, no? And I’m a wedding planner in Orlando. I step outside in my nicest wardrobe to be hit by a wall of heat and humidity (and often rain), causing me to look like I just ran the entire way to the wedding location when I finally greet the happy couple. Try looking glamorous when your makeup is melting off and you have streams of hairspray-scented sweat rolling into your eyes. Just sayin’.
Misconception #2: You’re an author, too? You must be rolling in the money!
Sad Truth: No, I’m really not. Let’s frame it this way: my wedding planner boss drives a Lexus. I drive a ten-year-old Nissan X-Terra that recently had to have the ceiling pulled down because I got tired of the little flecks of fluff flying into my hair and onto my clothes and contributing to my so-not-glamorous image whenever I coordinated weddings. The engine on this vehicle makes such strange noises that I consider my annual membership to AAA “supplemental auto insurance.” Despite what you might be thinking, I’m not just driving ol’ Tweety around for sentimental reasons.
Misconception #3: You’ve been married for ten years? That must provide great inspiration for the romance part of your writing!
Sad Truth: No, it doesn’t. I can think of two times in the past ten years that my husband and I made a real effort to incorporate “Hollywood-style romance” into an evening. One involved an intimate liaison in front of the fireplace at our first new home. That subsequently became the time we learned that to open the flue, you had to flip the lever the OTHER way. Try engaging in intimacy while smoke floods into the room and every detector in the house starts screeching. Yeah. Let’s just say the second attempt didn’t end any better, and there was a broken bed frame involved…and not in a good way.
And then there’s the fact that—um. Wait a minute here. What the hell did I just do? Ugh. Did I mention I’m socially awkward? Look, can we start over?
Hello. I’m Raine, and I’m a glamorous wedding planner and author who lives in the lap of luxury and experiences more romance than you’ll ever dream.
It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Thanks so much to Raine Thomas for sharing her world with us. I totally agree with her…reality bites! Hey, speaking of things that bite…I’m working on week 9 of the Daywalkers. Have you been bitten yet?
Until the next time…I’ll be waiting for the sun to come up!