the tooth fairy
Welcome to the Weekly Guest Blogger series.
Chocolate is my drug of choice, and no matter what the occasion, I celebrate all success, events, and holidays with some variation of sweet chocolate goodness. I can resist potato chips, pastries and other snacks, but I can’t pass up the chocolate.
Before The Tooth Fairy incident, I’d been clean for four weeks, and I felt in control of the weight game. I was even beginning to see the hint of a waistline emerging from the pudgy depths just south of “the girls”, and this motivated me to stay clean. I’d even begun fantasizing about how good I’d look in my favorite skinny jeans when I met my ideal weight. I had high hopes.
Then my husband, the loving enabler that he is, came home with a “surprise” for me. As soon as I spotted the shiny foil paper of the Hershey with Almond’s candy bar wrapper, I broke into a cold sweat. Four weeks of hard work out the window, and I didn’t want to give up— I’d been feeling too good. I needed quick solution.
I came up with the most brilliant plan in the history of dietary addiction. I could prove to myself that I’d kicked the habit AND be able to enjoy the chocolate, too. Were I a true junkie, I’d tear into that wrapper immediately and devour the candy in its’ entirety, but if I waited—like say until the next morning to leisurely savor the treat with my morning coffee—I’d have clear evidence I’d beat the addiction. The chocolate would be the reward for my amazing self-control.
Decision made, I left the chocolate bar on the counter in the kitchen and headed to bed. The next morning I leaped up from the bed five minutes before the alarm clock began wailing, and ran downstairs to the kitchen counter. My heart sank.
The chocolate was gone, and in its place, a note. It read:
I O U
One Hershey’s with almonds.
The Tooth Fairy
I’m still annoyed by this little act of mischief, but rather than make a big scene, I’ve decided to extract a satisfying revenge.
The Tooth Fairy—a.k.a. my sister-in-law—absolutely LOVES TastyKakes, so I’ve devised a devious plan. The next box of TastyKakes she buys will be mine. I intend to remove every last pasty from the box and hide them in my room in a place she’d never think of looking. Then I’m going to leave the empty box on the counter, but before I do, I’ve devised my own little note to put inside the box:
Dearest Tooth Fairy,
I’ve deducted all the fees and interest for the Hershey’s with almonds. We’re even.
Erica, thank you for having me guest post on your amazing blog. It’s been a pleasure doing something a little different, and I hope your readers enjoy it.
The pleasure was all mine, Amberr…and remind me never to touch your chocolate! You’re downright bloodthirsty when it comes to your candy!
Until the next time…I’ll be hanging out with a few vampires I know.