Once upon a time, as the snow was falling and we were trapped in our house for more than four consecutive days because the city of Atlanta was shut down, and the roads by my house were closed, and we were running out of milk, bread and toilet paper, I made a silent wish for it to warm up.
The moral of this story is be careful what you wish for.
My air conditioning is currently cranked down to seventy-one degrees, but the temperature in the house won’t drop below eighty. I have fans on full blast all over the house to blow the cold air as it comes out of the vents, and linen drapes to block out the sun. My house is beginning to resemble a crypt, and if I could convince everyone who lives here to take turns breathing so it would lower the hot breath circulating, I would do that too.
I am seriously considering saying to hell with the hardwood floors and installing a sprinkler system to mist me while I sit on my laptop in the living room. I know computers don’t like water, but I don’t like sweat. People just shouldn’t have to live like this! Even my dogs refuse to go outside in the middle of the day for fear of bursting into flames.
Is it global warming? Is it just a random heat wave? Is this what we have to look forward to in years to come? Should I be stocking up on sunscreen?
I think for now I’ll start sleeping inside the refrigerator…you know, just until it cools off. I think I’ll make a wish for cooler temperatures…remind me I said that come winter. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this.
Until the next time…I’ll be wishing for a snow storm!