Erica Lucke Dean

"Making the world a better place, one book at a time."

brother can you spare some chocolate?

Have you ever had one of those days when an overwhelming feeling of dread looms in the distance like the low pressure of a coming storm?  You can’t put your finger on it, but you wear it like a piece of heavy jewelry…the kind that leaves a nasty green ring around your wrist.

I have no real reason to feel anxiety. I’m not in the path of a hurricane.  I didn’t feel the rumblings of a powerful earthquake. I simply had an argument with my husband.  It wasn’t a huge fight in the grand scheme of things, but it upset me just the same. 

I mean, do I really expect every day to be happiness and joy?  Do I somehow think life won’t poke its dirty little finger into my face from time to time to drag my smile into a frown?  I guess I expect perfection, but let’s face it, perfection is unattainable.  I tell my husband that every time he shakes his head at my disastrous cooking or my inability to linger in the bright sunlight on a hot day. 

It’s true.  I’m far from perfect.  But I still look at the world through rose colored glasses.  I refuse to see the cup half empty. I relentlessly seek out the slightest drop of positive in every ounce of negative.  I laugh at disaster and spontaneously burst into song while feeding the dogs or doing my laundry.  I’m the girl who turns every minute of my life into a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical.   

So why the hell do I feel like I just discovered I’m allergic to chocolate?

Thank God it's not that bad! In fact, I’ve sent my son to the store for an emergency supply of chocolate.  I told him to make sure it has lots of nuts in it, because I subscribe to the notion that you are what you eat.  And I need to get back to being a just little bit nuts.  It suits me much better than the portrait of a sad faced girl. 

Who knows…maybe I’ll toss down a wine cooler and watch an old Godzilla movie while I wax something.  Stranger things have happened.

Until the next time…I’ll be gorging on chocolate until I feel like myself again.

Copyright © 2000-2016, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.