I think I have agoraphobia. Not to be confused with angora-phobia, which is the fear of angora sweaters, which I also believe I have. Angora makes me itch, so I avoid the sweaters like the plague. But I’m not talking about sweaters, am I? No, I’m talking about agoraphobia…the fear of leaving the house.
I have totally become Sigourney Weaver in the movie Copycat. I lock myself inside to write while I drown my sorrows in a wine cooler (I’m a lightweight) and interact solely with the people on my computer. Just add some Harry Connick, Jr. on my iTunes and the picture is complete.
What happened to me? I used to love to go out and wander around public places. I did karaoke! I had friends! I wore make-up, shaved my legs, and had sexy hair! I even stopped to talk to strangers (don’t tell my mother) but lately, I would rather stay in my pajamas with my hair pulled into a ponytail, and listen to television on low volume while I write. I want to blame the wretched summer heat and my aversion to the sun, but could it be something more? Am I turning into a recluse a la Howard Hughes? What’s next…a house full of cats and an episode of Hoarders?
I had better nip this problem in the bud. I’m getting up tomorrow morning, shaving my legs, and going for a haircut and a pedicure. I might even leave my laptop home while I do it. Oh yeah…I’m ready to live dangerously. I might even…I’m afraid to think it…I might even wear strappy sandals with a heel! Watch out world, I’m dangerous in heels.
But before I can do any of that, I have to finish this blog and get in a few pages of my current work in progress. I mean, we recluses are actually very dedicated to our work. After all…look at what Howard Hughes accomplished in his bizarre lifetime? He made movies, romanced starlets, changed the future of aviation, and got Leonardo DiCaprio to play him in a movie! I want a life like that…well, minus the crazy long toenails and peeing in milk bottles.
Yep, I’m definitely getting a pedicure tomorrow!
Until the next time…I’ll be sketching up plans for a new airplane…or not.