Welcome to the Weekly Guest Spotlight
I quit smoking five days ago, and I am finally beginning to see the humorous side of things. The way I’ve carried on and moped about my house, isolated from the outside world, made me feel like I was some sort of hardcore recovering junkie. I’m on Day 5, no smokes, and when I think about the way I’ve felt and acted recently, I can’t help but to laugh. No, I don’t think addiction is funny shit, per say, but I do think the way I’ve carried on is kind of funny.
Maybe it’s a coping mechanism or a comfort measure? Some people turn to shopping or gambling or Jesus for comfort; I tend to default to bizarre humor. I’m just quirky that way and always have been. Even during funerals of people I loved, I found something hilarious. Like the time when prim and proper Aunt Benni came strolling out of the restroom with her dress AND a piece of toilet paper tucked into her pantyhose, looking painfully solemn, walking into the chapel with that crazy TP tail trailing behind her.
It was totally inappropriate to laugh, of course, but as I regarded her and the weepy faces around me, something broke like a dam within me. I had to bend my head in mock-prayer, bite the insides of my cheeks, and hope nobody noticed my shoulders shaking in laughter. I laughed until the tears poured, which worked as a great cover-up. After that, I was mostly okay about the whole death thing. I’d still have sad moments, but I could, and did, move on.
Just like early today. Admittedly, all “Haha” aside, the first few days of the no-smoking deal has, no doubt, been the roughest thing to go through aside from losing a loved one. I know, I’m terrible to even think those things compare, but when you’re giving up a longtime habit, whether it is food, gambling, chocolate, or like me—cigarettes, it’s like parting with an old friend. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t, don’t judge.
I’d been in mourning along with withdrawals the past few days, but I’ve lived through it, sharing my progress with everyone I come into contact to, on my blog, and all over social media. Each day I’ve posted on my Facebook wall “Day, fill-in-the-blank, no cigs, going strong…” and when I did it for today, it suddenly seemed hilarious. I felt almost like an alcoholic in an AA meeting, only my status updates have been my version of the Serenity Prayer.
I even went so far as to imagine myself collecting my 90-day sober chip, while tearfully telling some horrible story of something bad I did while smoking cigarettes—nothing major, I can recall in reality, but it was a funny thought—and how I’d ultimately prevailed. Then, thanking God and my family for support, I’d hold my chip triumphantly in the air while everyone clapped wildly. Yeah, not funny stuff to the average bear, but it amused the hell out of me.
You know, the mind is a funny monkey sometimes, and even if the way I handle things is ultimately considered bizarre, it’s really just the way I am. Nor do I think I’d have it any other way.
Best of luck to Amberr on her quest to kick the habit! I might just have to follow suit and give up those cookies once and for all!
Until the next time…I’ll be craving Thin Mints.