I admit it. I collect magazines. And not just any magazines…home decorating magazines. You’ve heard of them…House Beautiful, Country Living, Cottage Homes, Traditional Home, Southern Accents…and the list goes on. My husband has repeatedly asked me to pick a few and get a subscription rather than picking them up for full price at the store. I keep telling him that I will narrow the choices down after sampling them just a few more times. I just can’t decide which ones to get. Why can’t I just have them all?
Because the magazines are piling up all over the house, that’s why.
And my wonderful husband spares no opportunity to remind me of that fact. I have vowed to weed through the current selections (some of which date back as far as 2005) and recycle the ones I don’t want anymore.
Again, a very difficult decision, I sort of want them all.
Oh, sure…I’ll weeded a bunch out when we moved to the haunted farmhouse, but I couldn’t exactly get rid of them all when I obviously had a need to decorate the new (old) house, right? Can my husband really expect me to toss out such a wealth of decorating resources? Oh, yes…he can. So, not so long ago, I actually tossed quite a few of them into the recycling bin, only to fish them out a few days later. You just never know when I’ll have the opportunity to remodel my Paris apartment…right? That is, if I had an apartment in Paris…which I do not.
But I can dream can’t I?
My dreams notwithstanding, I believe my husband has enlisted the help of an accomplice to rid himself of my magazines.
Enter Indiana Jones, the accomplice.
Indy has developed a new habit of shredding magazines, more specifically, my magazines. I found a Country Living torn up on the living room floor yesterday. Two different Traditional Homes bit the dust in the days before that. And I lost a prized Martha Stewart Living to the powder room toilet just this evening.
Don’t ask me how or why my 180lb Mastiff put a Thanksgiving issue circa 2008 into the toilet, because I have no idea. But I really liked that particular issue. I’ve decided to attempt to dry it out. I know…I know…yuck…but there are some really good recipes in there!
I am convinced my husband has told him to do this. What other excuse could there be? I have had this dog since he was 10 weeks old and only now; coincidentally coinciding with my husband’s requests to “throw some of those damn magazines away,” my 2 year old dog is tearing through my magazines faster than I can replenish them. He’s not going for the newest issues—the ones I can replace—he’s going after the out of print issues!
And it’s not like he found them lying on the floor…he has fished them out of magazine racks! Pulled them off the coffee table! Taken them from my bedside table!
It is a conspiracy. And my husband is the head conspirator. The next thing you know, he’ll be convincing the cats to push the magazines from their new perch on the top of my dresser so the dog can get them.
I suppose in the grand scheme of things I can’t complain. If I try hard enough, I can look at the positive side of things. Perhaps this is just Indy’s way of helping me make room for more new magazines. Maybe it’s time I actually sent in those subscription cards after all. I think I can pare it down to four choices. Well, maybe five.
I’ll do that next month. I want to make sure I get all of the holiday issues first.
Until the next time…I’ll be pulling out the blow dryer for Martha’s stuffing recipe!