T’was the blog before Christmas and all through the town
The people were nasty…they all wore a frown
The stores were all packed with these last minute shoppers
With bags filled with perfume, TVs, and corn poppers!
And I was among them as if on a dare
One last present to find…but it wasn’t there
I searched and I scavenged without any luck
So on the day before Christmas I said, “what the fuck!”
“I’ll hop in my car and I’ll head to the store
There might be one place I hadn’t thought of before.”
But I wasn’t alone on my last minute outing
In fact, there’s a mob in the parking lot shouting
“On douchebag, on dickhead, on asshole, on prick.”
Guaranteed language to piss off Saint Nick
So when they open their stockings first thing Christmas morning
They’ll probably find lumps of coal and a warning
Remember that Christmas doesn’t come from the mall
It’s not about presents or shopping at all
I love giving gifts though the holiday season
But remember, gift giving really isn’t the reason
There are so many things that make Christmas for me
And most of those aren’t even under the tree
I wish peace on earth and goodwill toward men
But I just hope the kids let me sleep until ten!
Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas!
Until the next time…I’ll be spending some much needed time with the family!