why vampires love casinos
It’s elementary, I’m sure. Where else can one find such a perfect environment for a vampire? The complete absence of sunlight…of time even. Casinos are both dark (day becomes night as secret passageways and dark shadows lurk in every corner)…and light with their bright, flashing neon lights . They purposely remove the clocks to further the illusion.
It’s simply a bonus that the confusion of lights and sounds causes chaos for even the most attentive individual.
It’s so confusing, my mother got lost in the casino today. She was supposed to meet me at the base of the escalator, but when I called her on her cell to find out where she was, she said she couldn’t find the one I was standing at. This, in and of itself, alarmed me, as there was only one escalator in the casino. I wondered where she could have gotten off to if she was standing at the base of one and I wasn’t there. She’s lucky I found her when I did. Vampires thrive on just this sort of confusion.
And did I mention, drinks are free while you’re gambling? Vampires live and breathe for drinking. And everyone around you is drinking too, so that just ratchets up the confusion factor another notch.
Just this evening, my mother, my sister and I stopped off for a donut before heading to bed. It didn’t matter it was after one in the morning, or that we couldn’t tell if it was day or night. Had we run into a vampire at that moment, we would have been very sorry, indeed. But admittedly, the raw need for a fresh Dunkin Donuts Boston Creme donut was far stronger than any fear for our safety at that moment.
And clearly, we survived, so it worked out in the end.
We even managed to find our way back to our room in the tower (after successfully dodging the elevator Nazi, who was bound and determined to see our room key before he would allow us to board the elevator. As if merely possessing a room key was any kind of proof we belonged in the hotel. He’ll never know how close he was to having me explain to him exactly how I could circumvent his precautions.
Lucky for him, my family hurried me away from the scene.
And now I’m settling down for a good night’s sleep. At least, I think it’s night. Do I really know for sure? Was that donut the first meal of the day or me or the last? Was I having breakfast or a midnight snack? I may never know.
Until the next time…I’ll be rationing food so I can afford to gamble!