Have you ever had a really bad headache? The kind that makes you wish the earth would swallow you whole? You try to sleep it off, but it won’t let you go, not even in sleep. It takes over your dreams and suddenly, you’re in the middle of Toyko (or New York City) and Godzilla is stomping buildings.
Yeah, it was one of those headaches. But I had the perfect thing for it. No, not aspirin…Godzilla.
I think back to my earlier years, when Life was a board game you could cheat, the bills were always paid on time (and by someone else), and food magically appeared on the table. I didn’t worry about global warming, AAA credit ratings, or the price of oil. It didn’t matter how much gold cost on the open market, because I knew I could find an endless supply at the end of a rainbow, guarded by a little man in a green suit. I didn’t have a care in the world. The only things I had to fear were coal in my Christmas stocking and Godzilla. Basically, Godzilla was the only truly scary thing the world had to offer. Nothing could even compare.
No matter what they threw at him, he would defeat it.
Smog monster? No contest. The terrifying Rodan? Atomic toast against Godzilla. Even King Kong knew he had met his match in his battle with the giant lizard.
There was even a time when my giant moth had tried to take out Godzilla…but Mothra didn’t stand a chance against him. Because when it came right down to it…Godzilla kicked ass.
I mean, come on, admit it…if you’re locked in a room with rising unemployment, falling stock markets, and potential foreclosures, and Godzilla suddenly comes knocking…does anything else really matter? Who runs from inflation? Not Godzilla, I’m certain.
But I can almost guarantee the world would run from Godzilla.
Suddenly, societies that despised each other would unite. There would be an unexpected commonality among different races and religions. It wouldn’t matter if you were team Edward or team Jacob. Even Mac and PC users would band together. We are talking about the ultimate US vs. THEM…with “them” being Godzilla and his breath of fire.
If you ask me, this crazy world we live in just might need a fire breathing lizard to pull us together…set us back on the path to a common goal. He would certainly create jobs as we threw up factories to build Godzilla thwarting weapons and fire proof armor. And he would reduce carbon emissions with every SUV he trampled along the highway.
Yes, the world needs Godzilla…if for nothing else than to chase the scary moths from my back porch.
Until the next time…I’ll be preparing for the first invasion!