Erica Lucke Dean

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karma may be a bitch, but she’s also one of my best friends.

I am a grouch.  There is no other explanation for my attitude today.  I find myself getting irritated about everything.  Especially the grocery store—they always offer to take your groceries out to the car for you.  Always.  Except for the one night when I’m alone…at night…and I buy a forty pound bag of dog food. That’s right.  Tonight.  

But the grocery store was just the most recent of my frustrations.  I’ve been a grouch all day.  I think I may have been a grouch in my sleep.  Right from the moment the clock struck twelve and today began.  I know I was a grouch when I rolled out of bed.  Late.

I overslept. 

My alarm didn’t go off.  Somehow I managed to turn it off instead of turning it on.  I have no one to blame but myself for that.  I know this.  But the knowledge didn’t make me feel better in the least. 

While I was at work, my husband left to go out of town.  Again.  And grouch that I am…I found myself irritated that he left me here alone.  I do actually recognize the selfishness in that sentiment.  Which is why I am completely convinced that I am just a grouch. 

This grouchiness has apparently brought about a serious dose of bad karma.  I have developed a case of hives, likely from my medicine, which probably means that I’m allergic.  Of course, I can’t find out until Monday, so I’m going to itch until then. 

Being itchy makes me even more grouchy. 

So…right after work…with no one to share the day with, I went shopping.  Scratching, as I made my way around the store looking for something new to wear.  I wasn’t in the mood to shop for shoes.  What a horrible excursion that would be.  I just wanted to find a new blouse. 

I found several.  Unfortunately, I got mad at the rude girl in the changing room, so I decided to leave and never shop there again.  I suppose I will actually shop there again, once my grouchy day is far behind me.

When shopping didn’t work out I decided I would get a massage and a pedicure.  Two things certain to pull a grouch out of her funk.  It didn’t quite do the trick, but it was close.  So to seal the deal, I took myself to the theater to see a romantic comedy.  By the time I left, I was almost human again.  But then I decided to run to the grocery store for dog food and cookies. 

They were out of my favorite (non Girl Scout) cookies which immediately set me back a few steps.  There was a sale on dog food, so it was a wash.  Until I got to the check out.  I expected some strapping young boy to offer to take my bags out to the car for me. They always do.  I’ve never had to ask. 

Tonight, there were no boys standing at the checkout.  Tonight no one asked if I needed help with my bags.  Tonight I had a forty pound bag of dog food in the cart.

I wheeled my own cart to the car and lugged the dog food into the trunk where I discovered the tent the kids were supposed to have folded up and put away.  It was just wadded up, taking up much of the space in the trunk.  The dog food had to ride shotgun. 

I got home and realized that I had forgotten to leave a single light on.  I stumbled my way through the dark garage and into the dark house, with an enormous bag of dog food, and my second favorite cookies.  It was going to be a long night.

Mike was supposed to turn around and come back from Florida to be home in time to snuggle up with me sometime around midnight.  That wasn’t going to work out.  He took a wrong turn on his way there, and ended up in the car for two extra hours.  Only bad karma could have caused this.  I’m not sure if it was his bad karma or mine.  Either way, I’m home alone all night long.  And itchy.

The house is locked up, the dogs are in my bed, my son is upstairs, and my blog is almost finished.  I’m not even going to edit it.  I’m just too grouchy.  I have no choice but to medicate myself with an all night marathon of romantic comedies to try and take the edge off the bad mood.  Who knows…it could work.

Until the next time…I’ll be spending a fortune on pay per view!