a blogger in the raw

Welcome to the Weekly Guest Blogger series.

Valerie HaightTonight’s guest blogger is Valerie Haight. For more about Valerie, click on her photo to visit her website.

Someone asked me today if I truly knew myself. To choose two words that encompassed my entire existence.

Well, after 35 years, I suppose I should know who I am. But to sum me up in one or two words? Impossible. I’m a klutz. I talk too much, I say things I shouldn’t even think. I trip over things that aren’t there. I trip people who don’t know I’m there. The list goes on. And I tend to be really tough on men for whatever reason. My husband can attest. He has constant bruises, a chipped tooth and a toe that grows funny because of me. <—-True.

There was the time I worked at a doctor’s office. I answered the phone and rolled my chair over to grab the appointment book, but the cord wouldn’t reach. I leaned farther, almooooost  there, when the rollers on my chair suddenly flipped, standing me delicately on the floor, but sending the heavy chair flying out behind me and into the doc’s shins. Yeah, I brought him to his knees. Not in a good way. Never in a good way.

Then there was the time in my current corporate job I was busting tail in the office while the architects I work with stood around holding up the wall. Mildly irritated and needing to be where they stood, I had the bright idea to slip up behind one of them so as not to interrupt, grab an envelope off the bottom shelf and be in and out before they even knew it. Of course, the tall, lanky one took a step back while I’m crouched behind his feet and over he went in one of those trying-to-break-a-fall-with-whatever-you-can-grab slowmo moves where it took him two whole minutes to complete the crash. When it was all said and done, we looked like we’d just finished a game of Twister and my sophisticated chignon ended up an 80’s side pony. It was definitely one of many WTH? moments I experience everyday.

So, after much contemplation, I’ve decided Passionate Realist would sum up my demeanor, my personality about as well as anything. Passionate? Yes, I cartwheel in the front yard to expel excess energy (to the great disdain of my 12 year old son who likes to point out we live on a highway with passing cars). I cartwheel’d when I landed an agent.  I cartwheel’d when I got my Kindle. I cartwheel just to embarrass people. (I’m not very graceful, so it works.)

And a realist? Yes. I don’t expect the world to change overnight and I’m moderately callous toward the injustices of this world. I’m desensitized to the freaks, the monsters, the hate that wreaks havoc on the happiness of today’s society. I know I’ll never be a sexy siren on the silver screen, but I do have hope and faith. I believe I will be published one day soon and my kids will learn that through hard work and persistence (and a bit of clumsiness and hilarity thrown in), great things can happen. And I will laugh at myself through the entire journey. What choice do I have? It’s gutbustin’ funny!!

I hope everyone will join me in giving thanks to Valerie for a honest, hilarious blog.  And be sure to stay way clear of her if she happens to wander into your safety zone.

Until the next time…I’ll be looking for next week’s guest blogger.

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Posted on September 9, 2011 .