Remind me to smack my husband when I get home. This is all his fault. I mean, so what if I have a potty mouth? I’m a big girl. If I wanna cuss like a sailor, that’s my perogative, right? I never should have listened to him when he said to curb my language. If I had just let loose with the F-bomb, I would have been much better off. Instead, I opened my mouth and said, crap.

Unfortunately, for me, that was the last thing one is supposed to say while rolling the dice at an actual Craps table. And when I rolled the dreaded SEVEN immediately after letting the bad word slip…BAM! I got smacked from all sides. After my sister slapped my arm, I was literally swatted by total strangers. For NOT swearing. Un-fucking-believable, right?

So, like I said, it’s all the hubby’s fault. Next time, you can bet I’ll be using my big girl words at the gaming tables. And while I’m at it, I’m going to pay attention to the dealer’s advice.

RexxRexx, our friendly neighborhood dealer, told me to play the nine. He told me after the first time it hit. And again after the second time it hit, then after it hit a third time, I did what he said and won. Trust me when I say, when it comes to Craps, Rexx knows his shit.

So yeah, if I didn’t mention it before, my sister and I were hanging out in Cherokee, North Carolina at the Harrah’s casino tonight, where we met Rexx, John, Elaine and the rest of the Craps dealers. They were a fun bunch, and we learned a lot about the game. I would be going home with a whole lot more money (and a few less hand prints) if I’d only listened to the wisdom of Rexx.

At least my sister paid attention. Long after I’d licked my wounds and crawled off to bed, she was still rolling the dice to the tune of eight hundred dollars richer. The bitch. If I’d just stayed for a few more rolls. If I hadn’t quit while I was behind. It could be me with enough money for breakfast at Paula Deen’s restaurant tomorrow. Now all I can afford is a few sticks of butter.

I will never again doubt the wisdom of Rexx. Dude, if you’re reading this…you rock. I should have found your table several hundred dollars earlier.

Until the next time…I’ll be heading home hungry.