Ok, about a million years ago--or 30, give or take--Sally Field gave this awesome speech when she won the Oscar for Places In The Heart. She finally felt as if people liked her. Well, Sally, I get where you're coming from, because today, they like me.

I was nominated (several times, in fact) for two pretty awesome blog awards. Ordinarily, I pretend I didn't notice I was nominated just so I don't have to write the corresponding acceptance blog, but since two of my favorite people shared the nominations with me in the span of two days, and I know they're not going to let me skirt away without acknowledging it, I figured I'd better suck it up and say, thanks.

So yeah, to DC McMillen and Lorca Damon (and everyone else who was kind enough to toss my name into the ring) much thanks.

So, let's get to the awards, shall we? First, I was nominated for the Blog of the Year Award, for excellence in duck watching, ghost busting, and spider shrieking, amongst other things. I am honored, of course, because who wouldn't be? It's like saying I'm the cream of the crop, and besides being a farm pun, I like cream, so yeah...cool. 

Second, I was nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. This is due to my tireless dedication to embarrassing myself so you don't have to. I've made the sacrifices, proving once again why no one should ever attempt their own bikini wax, or move to a secluded and very haunted farm with zero experience in farming. I was the one who walked you through pole dancing in a seedy part of town, and dared to out George Lucas as God. Me. I deserve this award!

Uhh...sorry...got carried away there for a second. This is why I never accept these things. Well, that's one reason. The other reason is because I'm expected to share seven secrets about myself. Stuff that would make my mom blush. And trust me, that isn't easy to do. The woman taught me every dirty joke I know.

Ok, so...seven things? Are there even seven things about me I haven't already blabbed to the world? We'll see.

1. This isn't really a secret, but I have a 75% chance of wearing my underwear inside out. I don't know why this happens. I swear I check them before pulling them on. I think it might have something to do with my tendency to be a bit hyper. Clearly, they spontaneously flip somehow during the day.

2. Anything having to do with noses freaks me out. Don't blow your nose, make nose sounds or refer to nose things in my presence. I will cut you...or resort to my uncanny ability to make yakking sounds the likes of which will have you yakking within minutes. Ask my family. They will NOT challenge me when it comes to gross out sounds.

3. I have a bizarre knowledge of useless trivia and I know how to use it. If you need to know this for college, that's not what I'm taking about. If you need to know for a Brady Bunch or Bewitched drinking game, I'm your girl.

4. I can write in cursive as well backwards as I can forward. A college boyfriend was convince this meant I was a witch and broke up with me immediately. What it really means is I can pass notes in class without getting caught. It may look like gibberish from the front, but flip it over, read through the back, and we're in business!

5. I'm actually very smart. I know...I play dumb exceptionally well, but it's all an act to fool people into letting their guard down. The minute they're not expecting it...BAM! I'm spouting out diabolical formulas that will make your head spin.

6. I've never broken a single bone (that I know of). It's true. As clumsy as I am, I've never broken a bone. I've had several concussions, countless bruises and sprains, but never actually broken anything. That has to be some kind of record.

7. I liked Twilight. I mean, in an obsessive, read it over and over and over again sort of way. Don't judge...we all have our quirks. I just have more than my fair share.

And now I will name those blogs I wish to bestow the honor upon. Some of my most favorite blogs of all the world. Honest.

Kelly Stone Gamble because she's funny, Ciara Ballintyne because she eats dragons for breakfast, RachelintheOC Thompson because she is the queen of snark, Amberr Meadows because she goes places and takes pretty pictures, and Justin Bog because he just might be my non-romantic soul mate. I would nominate DC and Lorca again, but since I want them to continue writing guest posts for me, I won't subject them to a repeat so soon.  Oh, what the heck...I nominate them again!

So there you have it. And now for the rules portion of our show (cut and pasted straight from the last person who forced me to write this.)

All the fine print is below:

Blogger of the Year:

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award
2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award.
3 Please include a link back to this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award – http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/our-awards/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/   and include these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)
4 Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them
5 You can now also join our Facebook group – click ‘like’ on this page ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience
6 As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog and sidebar … and start collecting stars…

Very Inspiring Blogger Award:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. State 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and link to them.

5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.