Wow, it’s been a long... okay, an epically long... time since the last time I’ve been here. In my defense, I’ve been busy. As in super busy. As in I’ve moved... twice. That’s right, no more haunted farmhouse. First, the hubby—formerly known as the imaginary dead president—talked me into living off the grid in an unfinished house in the wilds of Tennessee. Yeah... that was interesting. For the record, I’ve officially sworn off bucket toilets and bottled water for the forseeable future. The only reason I agreed to that crazy little experiment was because I still had electricity and internet. After nine months of that bullsh... crap, hubby decided to slap some money down on a cabin in the national forest. So now, I have free access to flushing toilets, running water, and central heat and air. Whew! What an adventure! We don’t have any chickens as of the moment, and no, we didn’t eat them, but the mastiffs may have nibbled on a few, but as soon as the weather warms up, we’ll start brooding a few chicks. You heard me... just a few. And maybe some ducks. A stray goose or two. But I draw the line at pigs. Oh, sure, they were fun but a girl can only outrun a charging pig for so long, and I’m not as young as I used to be! Don’t fret. The prospect of running into a bear has probably doubled where I am now, so I’m sure something will try to eat me before too long. As for me, I’m dieting. That’s right! No “doing lines” of Girl Scout cookies this year. I’m restricting myself to four cookies a day. Harsh, I know, but like I said, I’m not as young as I used to be, but not as old as I’d like to get, so I’m trying to take better care of myself. That means lots of diet and exercise, because you never know when you’re gonna have to outrun a bear!

In the meantime, I have a lot of writing to do. And some pretty amazing news to share later this week. And yes, even a witty blog post or two up my sleeve. Like I said, I’m back, and unless something horrible happens, I’ll stick around a little longer this time.

Until the next time... I’ll be looking for something to eat!