I have finally exhausted my current supply of Girl Scout cookies. I emptied the stash in my desk drawer, demolished the stash in my freezer, the roll of Thin Mints in my glove box is completely gone, and I have even found the reserves the kids hid from me. I’ve had to switch to dry Cap’n Crunch in a hopeless attempt to satisfy my sweet cravings and I figured if I was lucky, I’d lacerate the roof of my mouth to the point that I wouldn’t want sweets anymore. Sort of like a tasty punishment. But it didn’t work. I was still obsessed. So, this evening I was on a desperate and futile quest to find a new dealer for the Thin Mints. I was trying to minimize my exposure by spreading it around. I didn’t want to be seen by any one person buying too many cookies all at once. People see you buying that many cookies several days in a row and they start planning an intervention. So I started cruising grocery store parking lots for a new source. But in a cruel twist of fate, the first time I actually tried to find a girl scout on a street corner pushing those delightful confections, I can’t find a single one! I think it’s the cold weather that’s driven them underground.
My next course of action was to run through my entire address book trying to locate anyone who would sell me just one roll of Thin Mints. Not even the whole box! Just one roll! But, no one is willing to part with them. You would think they were some kind of primitive currency! I’ve decided that it’s entirely possible I have serious problem. I’ve never had an addictive personality before. Except with regard to the diet Coke, (but I’ve kicked that habit all on my own before.) The cookies are way harder to give up. My only saving grace is that Girl Scout cookies are completely unattainable after sometime in March—so if I start dieting then, it will still give me a few weeks until spring! On the up side, I have given up caffeine completely! I have not had any caffeinated drinks including all forms of Coca Cola products since lunch yesterday! Hooray! That should have an immediate impact on weight loss! Pizza for dinner may cancel out points from caffeine reduction. But, my husband was out on a business dinner at very nice restaurant, and I have not been given permission to use the stove yet. In his defense, I haven’t actually asked for permission to use the stove yet. I figured that gives me temporary license to eat restaurant food every day this week. I’m on vacation next week, so I will almost certainly be forced to eat the food we already bought. Still, I suppose I’ll survive.
I do have a few days left in this week to indulge myself, so tomorrow I’m calling my source. I’m going to have a few boxes delivered to the bank. I might even share, just so I don’t look bad. I’ll even buy a couple boxes for the kids, so they stay away from mine. I’ll pay cash so my husband won’t know how many boxes I bought. I’ve probably spent way too much time thinking about this plan. I should probably spend at least a little bit of time on what I’m going to wear to work tomorrow. Or what I will do on vacation. But right now I can’t focus on anything but minty chocolate, crunchy and sweet demons, straight out of the freezer.
There are worse things to be addicted to. I have two cousins that are struggling with very different addictions at this moment, so I certainly don’t want to make light of the difficulties involved with the demons they are facing. My demons are chocolate covered crack biscuits, and while I’m sure my cholesterol and my blood sugar would appreciate it if I would try just a little harder to resist them, my fans are probably rooting for me to score another box so they can follow the crumb trail to steal my stash!
Until the next time…I’ll be locking my cookies in the vault!