revenge of the sadistic husband

Day one of my horrible new diet.

No beef.  No salt.  No sugar.  No fat.  No food worthy of human consumption at all! Does he actually think I can go from eating hamburgers, and salty chips, and cookies, to eating vegetarian organic bunny food?  Is he serious? 

It’s almost eleven o’clock at night, and I’m hungry.  I’ve had nothing but banana chips to snack on, and they may be ok, but potato chips they are not! 

I don’t even eat that many potato chips really.  And I’m not big on hamburgers for that matter.  But take them away from me and what do you think I crave?  A big fat greasy cheeseburger and salty fries with lots of ketchup, and a chocolate milk shake—that’s what! 

And to top that off, I’m now under house arrest—as in I have an eleven pm bedtime.  That gives me exactly twelve minutes to finish my blog and log off the computer before he confiscates my laptop!  This is like Marshall Law or something!  Can he even do that? 

I’m pretty sure he can.  I’m too tired to argue with him.  And he’s probably right, but don’t tell him I said so.  I took my blood pressure before settling down and it’s still pretty high.  My head sort of feels like it might explode, and I’m pretty tired.  And this was after eating good food all day. 

The good news is, my bed has fresh sheets and pillow cases, my dogs have all been bathed and groomed, and smell positively divine (thanks to my sadistic food dictator of a husband) and I’m in my jammies listening to the frogs in the cool night air.  I love these early summer nights when you can sleep with the windows open without roasting, and you can listen to the soothing sounds of nature.   

And the sound of fireworks coming from the neighbors down the street.  Someone just graduated from high school.  So much for the sounds of nature.  Maybe I need to rethink those sleeping pills the doctor offered.

Until the next time…I’ll be falling asleep to a nature CD!

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Posted on May 22, 2010 .