in every life a little rain must fall

When the shit hits the fan, it doesn’t mess around. 

It’s already midnight, and I’m just now writing my blog.  Why?  Because today was one of those days when even my normal late night bedtime was botched by the ensuing chaos.  Raised voices, angry words, and slamming doors.  I actually found myself uttering the words, “Calgon, take me away!” And I’ve never in my life used Calgon.

I have been thinking a lot about life, and chaos, and blended families this evening.  My husband tends to look at things as either black or white.  Wrong or right.  This way or that way.  I feel as if life falls more within the gray area.  It’s about compromise, and acceptance.   Life is a series of subtle events tucked in and around the large catastrophes.  And chaos is not just a theory, it’s a reality.  Murphy didn’t come up with a law for nothing.  Whatever can go wrong…will. 

Especially when you have teenagers.

The thing is…it’s hard enough raising teenagers as part of a blended family without having to deal with the interference of others.  It starts to wear on you.  And that doesn’t mean I’m going to let it get me down, but it definitely gets old quickly.  You start to wonder who you can actually trust, and therefore you begin to trust no one. 

Perhaps my caffeine intake has gone way too high lately.  I seem to be just a little bit high strung (more so than normal.) 

Then again, it is almost 1am, and I’m still wide awake. 

Just like in the middle of a raging thunderstorm, our storm has the feeling of being never ending.  But even the worst hurricane breaks for sunny skies after a time.  Life will settle back down.  I have no uncertainty about that.  I have weathered some pretty wicked storms in my life, and the one overwhelming similarity has been that, “this too shall pass.” There is a rainbow in my future, I can just feel it.  And as soon as I can see it, I’ll grab the kids and we’ll sit there and stare at it for a few minutes, burning the image into our memories.  Because it is that rainbow after the storm that shows us the magic of forgiveness and rebirth. 

Beauty born out of chaos.

I’m still watching for the rainbow.  I know it’s coming soon.  They’ve never failed me yet.

Until the next time…I’ll be waiting for a few more claps of thunder before the storm is over.

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on August 3, 2010 .