After making a passing comment in my blog last night about being a karaoke singing zombie, I was bombarded with comments on Twitter (ok, it was one) about how no self-respecting zombie would be caught dead doing karaoke (ironic choice of words, if you ask me). And besides that, according to this source, they lack vocal cords necessary for singing.
Before I address the inaccuracies in that statement, I’d like to say I never actually thought I was a zombie. I was being funny (or perhaps not as funny as I thought if someone thought I was serious.) Oh, sure…I have a few of the characteristics. Especially as I get closer and closer to that age where stuff just doesn’t work like it used to. I’ve been known to groan as I shuffle across the floor in the morning, growling at anything that approaches me before I’ve had my morning muffin…brain food, as you know. My hair may or may not be sticking up in all directions, and my sickly pallor just might draw the occasional double take. But, I can assure you I’m still relatively alive. And my vocal chords have been known to function quite nicely in a karaoke atmosphere.
And about that…zombies do, in fact, have vocal cords. I mean, they had them when they were alive, so surely they haven’t rapidly disintegrated merely to prevent karaoke amongst their kind. Now, making distinguishable sounds from those vocal cords is another story. And for that, perhaps we should look to history, and the zombie evolution.
According to my friend and fellow author, Stephen Kozeniewski, we need to, “analyze this question scientifically. The answer naturally depends on the zombie mythos involved.”
So with that in mind, Stephen says…
1. Vodun – (That’s voodoo for anyone beside me who went, huh?) Yes, if ordered to do so by the bokor.
2. Romero mythos – (Original Night of the Living Dead director…but I knew that.) Categorically "no" with a possible exception for Bub IF he continues to evolve.
3. Russo mythos – (Return of the Living Dead director…I pretended to know that) Categorically "Yes."
4. Braineater Jones – (Stephen’s upcoming zombie novel, coming this fall!) Theoretically, "yes." However the silent orchestra technology to do so would not yet have been invented in the early '30s.
Now that Stephen has had his say, I’m tossing in Warm Bodies, my new favorite zombie movie. I’m pretty sure R would have kicked ass at karaoke!
Oh, and while I’m at it, I think I’ll add Thriller. Those were some serious karaoke singing zombies!
Until the next time…I’ll leave you with Michael Jackson and his zombie crew