T’was the blog before Christmas and all through the town
The people were nasty…they all wore a frown
The stores were all packed with the last minute shoppers
With bags filled with perfume, TVs, and corn poppers
And I was among them as if on a dare
One last present to find but it wasn’t there
I searched and I scavenged without any luck
So on the day before Christmas I said, “what the f…”
“I’ll hop in my car and I’ll head to the store
There might be a shop I hadn’t searched through before.”
But I wasn’t alone on my last minute outing
In fact, there was a mob in the parking lot shouting
“On douchebag, on dickhead, on asshole, on prick.”
Guaranteed language to piss off Saint Nick
So when they open their stockings first thing Christmas morning
They’ll probably find lumps of coal and a warning
Remember that Christmas doesn’t come from the mall
It’s not about presents or shopping at all
I love giving gifts though the holiday season
But gift giving really just isn’t the reason
There are so many things that make Christmas for me
And most of those aren’t even under the tree
I’d say peace on earth and goodwill toward men
As long as I can still have my gingerbread men...
Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas!
Until the next time…I’ll be spending some much needed time with the family!