100 blogs. Amazing! I don’t think I’ve ever done anything quite this challenging for a hundred straight days. Not dieting, not working out, and not even writing. There has always been a lull of some sort—a break in between. But I am proud (and maybe a just little surprised) that the daily blog has had a post every day for the past one hundred days. This is something of a milestone and I certainly hope it is a trend that will only gain momentum (and readers) in the weeks and months to come.
But before I get ahead of myself, I think I should take a quick look back at where we’ve been over the past 100 days.
Modern Definitions:
We have discovered what a “dongle” is, and why there is no shame in dangling it around in public. We have learned that sometimes a rose isn’t just a rose and even our own name doesn’t smell as sweet as we thought it did…and maybe we should keep that definition to ourselves! Some sandwiches are not meant to be eaten, but still manage to come out of our mouths at the most inopportune times. And sushi just might have more in common with sex than food.
Shopping Expeditions:
I have discovered that a nice omelet pan doesn’t have to cost as much as a night in a nice hotel, but a nice pair of shoes just might. Shopping with teenagers is a terrifying experience—especially during Prom season, or on a Wednesday, or on any other day of the week. Even if it was just a dream. And one crazy sweater is good for your soul.
Spring and Cleaning:
As spring approaches, we noticed that the curse of the groundhog was coincidentally timed with the arrival of the dreaded Girl Scout cookies, as if they worked in tandem to derail our plans to look fabulous in our bathing suits. And no matter how good the idea sounded on paper, the chopstick diet was a completely failure. There are just far too many bad foods that are easily eaten with chopsticks. Perhaps I wasn’t the best role model for healthy eating, but then again, I did teach you how NOT to clean your stove. It is never a good idea to wash the stove using the pot filler faucet. That is why they invented oven cleaner! Another valuable lesson has taught you that underwear should ALWAYS be worn right side out, and immediately put into the hamper to avoid mysterious disappearances. Panty hose, on the other hand, should never be worn. Under any circumstances!
The Family Tree:
There is an old saying…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If that is true, then I should avoid standing under apple trees, because I have a lot of family, and they have very good aim! My father especially. He practiced on moving targets—bats. And he’s always packing! Of course, I can’t complain about my family—we come from nobility; this is where we get our sense of balance and grace!
PMS:
Comes around once a month whether you wanted it, needed it, or asked for it. It doesn’t have an early detection system and you can’t protect yourself (or others) from it. You can run, but you can’t hide! Not even on the roof. Not even if you’re a dog.
Maybe I should have given more thought before attempting this:
If you have learned nothing else from me, I hope you have learned that a bikini wax should always be left to the professionals. And so should pole waxing. Hot tubbing, on the other hand, is perfectly safe as long as you stay in the hot tub until spring. Even a dry blanket will freeze to a handrail if it’s cold enough! And be sure to take the keys with you when you take your dogs outside at night in your underwear. You never know when the door might lock behind you.
Here’s looking forward to the next 100 days. I can’t wait to see what life has in store for me! How about you?
Until the next time…I’ll be blogging…and blogging…and blogging…and (you get the idea!)