you call that a shower?

I am ready for an upgrade.

Ok, so I'm ready for a lot of upgrades.  The new house, although loaded with vintage charm and character, is desperately lacking in some areas that I would consider crucial.  The item that is coming to mind right now is the shower in the master bathroom. 

I know my standards are skewed.  I was spoiled at the old house.  We had a shower built for two.  But I'm not asking for something quite so grand...so opulent.  I'm really not being greedy, I just want something remotely normal. 

First of all, it's a corner shower.  Secondly, it is the smallest corner shower I have ever seen. In fact, I think I've seen larger showers in a camper! There is absolutely no place you can stand without being directly in the spray from the shower head.  This may not sound like a problem, but have you ever tried washing your hair with the water constantly rinsing out the shampoo before you even have a chance to lather? 

Exactly.

Or how about this one...try shaving your legs when you don't have enough room to lift your leg, or bend even slightly at the waist without your ass sticking out the door.  And about that door.  It doesn't have one.  It has a curtain.  A curtain that hangs just above the floor and doesn't keep the water inside along the bottom.  Then again, the curtain is the only reason I don't feel completely claustrophobic while showering. 

When my daughter asked me if I was suddenly adopting more "European" grooming habits, I decided I would become more familiar with long soaks in the tub instead. I may not be able to wash my hair without difficulty, but I can definitely shave my legs. 

Life is full of compromises, I guess. 

I could try to look at things in a more positive light...which brings me to the next thing that needs upgrading.  Did I mention that the lights keep going out in the master bedroom and bathroom?  But bathing by candlelight is actually pretty romantic. 

I could get used to that.

Until the next time...I'll be deciding whether to shave my legs or wash my hair in the morning.

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on February 12, 2011 .