Have you ever had one of those days when an overwhelming feeling of dread looms in the distance like the low pressure of a coming storm? You can’t put your finger on it, but you wear it like a piece of heavy jewelry…the kind that leaves a nasty green ring around your wrist.
I have no real reason to feel anxiety. I’m not in the path of a hurricane. I didn’t feel the rumblings of a powerful earthquake. I simply had an argument with my husband. It wasn’t a huge fight in the grand scheme of things, but it upset me just the same.
I mean, do I really expect every day to be happiness and joy? Do I somehow think life won’t poke its dirty little finger into my face from time to time to drag my smile into a frown? I guess I expect perfection, but let’s face it, perfection is unattainable. I tell my husband that every time he shakes his head at my disastrous cooking or my inability to linger in the bright sunlight on a hot day.
It’s true. I’m far from perfect. But I still look at the world through rose colored glasses. I refuse to see the cup half empty. I relentlessly seek out the slightest drop of positive in every ounce of negative. I laugh at disaster and spontaneously burst into song while feeding the dogs or doing my laundry. I’m the girl who turns every minute of my life into a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical.
So why the hell do I feel like I just discovered I’m allergic to chocolate?
Thank God it's not that bad! In fact, I’ve sent my son to the store for an emergency supply of chocolate. I told him to make sure it has lots of nuts in it, because I subscribe to the notion that you are what you eat. And I need to get back to being a just little bit nuts. It suits me much better than the portrait of a sad faced girl.
Who knows…maybe I’ll toss down a wine cooler and watch an old Godzilla movie while I wax something. Stranger things have happened.
Until the next time…I’ll be gorging on chocolate until I feel like myself again.