you call that a challenge?

There are days when I ask myself why I blog.  Not many, but there are a few…like today.  As usual, I set myself up for it.  I’m the one who decided Wednesdays would be challenge blog days.  For those who don’t know, it’s the one day a week when readers pick a topic and I blog about it. 

In defense of the premise, it has actually proven to be quite successful.  “Why the world needs Godzilla” was a challenge blog.  So was “Doggone Men”.  So why am I so worried about this week? 

I’ll tell you why…

How the hell am I supposed to blog about druids, leprechauns, PVC pipe and navel lint with any degree of seriousness? 

I mean, sure…druids are cool.  They were mysterious and ancient…and they were known for human sacrifice. Sort of like zombies, right?  And I love zombies.

Ok, maybe not quite like zombies.  But druids were from England…and Ireland…like leprechauns. 

I know way more about leprechauns than druids. 

Leprechauns are the snazziest dressers in all of the land of make believe.  That and they have a bitchin’ accent.  And let’s not forget the sweetest pot o’ gold…well…anywhere.  Yeah, I’m all about the leprechauns.  I think I might even know a few.  Well…I know one.  We’re very close.  I see him every morning when eat my cereal.  I know…I know…he’s not a real leprechaun, he’s just a guy in a suit on a cereal box…but he has the accent.  And it’s all about the accent isn’t it?

So, there.  I’m good with druids and leprechauns.  But what about navel lint and PVC pipe?  

First of all…who calls it a navel anyway?  I don’t know anyone who actually says, “navel”.  I don’t care how old I am, it will always be a belly button to me.  And I don’t deal in lint.  The dryer has lint…the belly button doesn’t.  But if you’re one of those people who collect strange things…like belly button lint.  I have just one word of advice.  Vacuum.  Once week whether you think you need it or not.  Practice on a piece of PVC pipe.  Grab a hand full of lint from the dryer, stuff it in one end and vacuum it out the other.  Like a giant belly button experiment.  And what the hell…do it with an Irish accent.  It might be fun. 

So there you have it.  I blogged about druids, leprechauns, PVC pipe, and belly button lint.  Are you impressed yet?  I am.  But more than impressed, I’ve discovered something.  I’ve discovered that my readers…more so, my Twitter followers, are a lot like the druids.  They are sneaky and mysterious and they’re sort of into human sacrifice.  Isn’t that what challenge blogs are all about?  Sacrificing me on the altar of blog?

Or do I sacrifice myself?

Hell if I know.  I’m just a writer.

Until the next time…I’ll be checking for belly button lint!

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Posted on September 21, 2011 .