t'was the blog before christmas

T’was the blog before Christmas and all through the town

The people were nasty…they all wore a frown

The stores were all packed with these last minute shoppers

With bags filled with perfume, TVs, and corn poppers!

And I was among them as if on a dare

One last present to find…but it wasn’t there

I searched and I scavenged without any luck

So on the day before Christmas I said, “what the fuck!”

“I’ll hop in my car and I’ll head to the store

There might be one place I hadn’t thought of before.”

But I wasn’t alone on my last minute outing

In fact, there’s a mob in the parking lot shouting

“On douchebag, on dickhead, on asshole, on prick.”

Guaranteed language to piss off Saint Nick

So when they open their stockings first thing Christmas morning

They’ll probably find lumps of coal and a warning

Remember that Christmas doesn’t come from the mall

It’s not about presents or shopping at all

I love giving gifts though the holiday season

But remember, gift giving really isn’t the reason

There are so many things that make Christmas for me

And most of those aren’t even under the tree

I wish peace on earth and goodwill toward men

But I just hope the kids let me sleep until ten!

Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

Until the next time…I’ll be spending some much needed time with the family!

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on December 24, 2012 .