the blonde who glued herself to the lab bench

Welcome to the Weekly Guest Spotlight


Carrie Ann RyanTonight’s guest is writer, Carrie Ann Ryan. For more about Carry Ann, click on her photo to visit her website.

After reading Erica’s Bikini Wax Disaster post, the girls and I were discussing who has the most degrading hilarious stories. Well girls and boys - here is mine:

It was a hot day at the University. The fire alarms had gone off twice during the day because the fourth floor - the Organic Chemistry floor - had had a “minor” explosion that had melted the fire sensors and caused flooding. The entire five floor building and basement full of people had to be evacuated and stand outside in the muggy heat waiting to be sent in. Why didn’t we go home you ask? Because we are grad students who signed over our souls as first years in order to get our PhDs and needed to get back in to procure our precious research that may or may not matter to no one.

Finally by two pm we were able to go back in and I went to the basement where my lab bench and office was. I studied NMR and soils so I needed to be far in the ground to be safe. Safe - not so much. My research group partner - we will name him “Dumbass” to save his integrity - was in a hurry so he decided to share the bench with me while working with his organic adhesive. Now ordinarily this adhesive is safe in the environment and won’t actually bond to human tissue. But little did I know that if you were to say be near liquid nitrogen - the same liquid nitrogen that I used to cool down my NMR to make it a super conductor - that the adhesive goes HULK on people.

It was like in slow motion - I pour the liquid nitrogen in the small dewer cap as Dumbass turns and bumps into me at the bench. DISASTER!

The adhesive went “supernova” (not really physics people - I needed a good word) and stuck to my skin. As I reacted and leaned back my newly sticky arm and part of my chest touched the lab bench. I tried to pull back to yell at dumbass but wait! I am stuck!

I pull and tug and feel a sharp pain in my skin. Well shit. I am truly stuck. So Dumbass freaks out and gets our advisor and I am stuck by the skin and the lab coat partially under a fume hood.

Now I’m only five foot one. Meaning I have to stretch as it is to actually reach the hood. This is bad.

My advisor comes in with the five or so people who happened to be in the hall to hear Dumbass shouting “I stuck Carrie in the fume hood help!”

I was not amused.

No one knows what to do. They try use acetone but it won’t react. Since that was the point of the adhesive I was not surprised. Rumors of my captivity in the fume hood had trickled up the floors of the building and apparently the building next door and soon I had a crowd of people to look at the “blonde in the hood”.

Endless blonde jokes made by chemists. Ugh.

Someone eventually got me a stool so I wasn’t on my toes any more.

Cue the SHORT blond jokes.

Forty five minutes later, I was released from my fume hood prison minus one lab coat and at least one layer of skin.

Dumbass had disappeared to evade my wrath.

There were pictures taken but as I wasn’t wearing any make-up, I won’t show my torture. But here is a pic that reminded me of the pain and made me laugh.

This story is the sad truth. I wish I could say I made parts up, but sadly I am that blonde who was glued to the fume hood. And you wonder why I switched to Chemical Education?

Does anyone else have better stories? Hmmm?

And I don’t write about blondes who glue themselves to benches, but I do write about werewolves. J Mean ones and sexy ones. And they do have humor – but really, they are REALLY sexy.


Thanks Carrie Ann! Be sure to check out Carrie Ann’s website for more about her sexy werewolves!

Until the next time…I’ll be editing!

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on February 10, 2012 .