road trips, summer weddings, and duck sitters

I think my life may officially be a cliche.

My husband and I are leaving in the morning on a two day road trip to go to his brother’s wedding in Virginia. I’m not a fan of long road trips, or weddings for that matter. Especially when I don’t know the people getting married. Despite the technicality of the groom being family (I think I’ve met his brother once in passing, but we’ve never spoken) we’re essentially strangers. And I don’t know the bride at all. And other than my husband’s younger sister (the one who actually likes me) I’m not anyone’s favorite in-law. This should make for a very interesting two days.

That is if I survive eleven hours in the car with my husband…in July. With no internet.

But, oh…it gets worse.

While we’re gone, we’re having the “grown” children house sit. Or is that duck sit, since the baby ducks need almost constant round the clock attention like the demented band of toddlers they are? Not more than thirty minutes after cleaning them and their pen, they are once again covered in a layer of mud and poop. They’ve spilled their water into their food and have created a paste that they happily trample through with their little webbed feet as they run circles in the pen waiting for us to bring them new water, new food, and more dry bedding.

And this is less than an hour after breakfast.

I almost fear I will come home to find my house wrecked. My chickens missing. My kids hanging from the chandeliers. And my dogs dining on ducks roasted in orange sauce.

Is it any wonder I never leave town if I can avoid it? Especially when I have absolutely nothing to wear (pardon the cliche, but it’s true). This is why I hate weddings, road trips, and sitters. I have no clue how my husband convinced me to go. It may have involved wine coolers and large quanties of chocolate…both impair my thinking equally.

Well, if I’m going to live out the plot in a bad slapstick comedy, I guess I’d better get a few hours of sleep…and charge my Nook. It’s going to be a long trip!

Until the next time…I’ll be at the open bar!

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Posted on July 5, 2012 .