if you can dodge a turkey

Last night was the scariest drive home ever…

And yes, says the daughter…I’m probably overreacting to the whole thing, but still.

After having two drinks while at karaoke with my 19 year old daughter, I let her drive home. Truth is, I never drive home, but since the hubby chose to stay home last night, I went with my daughter. We had fun. And just so you know, I wasn’t drunk, per se, but since I can’t see well at night AND I had two drinks, I figured it was smart to let her get behind the wheel instead of me.

I’m here to tell you, there is a fine line between smart and scary.

I discovered, quite by accident, that my daughter doesn’t know when to dodge and when to weave. Apparently, my husband told her she should never slam on her brakes or swerve when something runs out in front of her. This is fine on paper, but there are certain things you should never just run over. I mean, sure, squirrels and rabbits aren’t even a blip on the radar. Sad but true. However, as anyone who has ever run across a deer in the dead of night and lived to tell the tale will tell you, deer do not get out of the way. And as it turns out, neither do turkeys.

My sister once totaled her car hitting a turkey. She didn’t even try to avoid it. My mother had always told her not to swerve for birds; birds always get out of the way at the last minute, says Mom.

For the record, that rule doesn’t apply to turkeys. Turkeys will not get out of the way at the last minute.  They will dent the hood, then the roof of your car, shattering your windshield on the way. For a bird, they do a great imitation of a deer when you hit them.  I guess it’s a little like driving fifty-five miles per hour down the highway and having someone toss a bowling ball into your path.  At least that’s what my husband said when he finished laughing at the story of my sister and the turkey.

Needless to say, I told my daughter to watch for deer, and low flying turkeys, and slow down if one should cross her path. It’s sort of like a really intense game of dodge ball. And you know what they say…

If you can dodge a turkey…you can dodge a ball.

Until the next time…I’ll be driving myself for a while.

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on August 22, 2012 .