when ducks laugh

Beware the laughing duck.

It sounds like a Chinese proverb or something, but really, it’s just my new motto. Ever since we brought those crazy ducks home, they’ve been nothing but trouble. Oh, they’re cute and all that, but they’re definitely up to something. And I’m determined to find out what that something is, before they can execute their evil plot.

Like tonight. My husband and I came home from the grocery store to find all seven of them trying to break into the house. (They clearly know where the food is kept.) They were huddled around the back door.  It was dark, so I can’t be sure, but I think one of them had a file, and I’m pretty sure they were working the lock.

And that was just the cherry on the top of my day.

It started when my husband left for work this morning. The house was quiet. No TV. No grown kids playing video games or rap music. The dogs were sleeping soundly. And I was reading a book. Ok, I was sleeping. But I would have been reading a book if I’d been awake. That’s when I heard them laughing. In fact, it was the laughing that woke me up.

Quack quack quack.

They may try to pass it off as quacking, but I can tell the difference. Those damn ducks were laughing. At me. 

All day long…quack quack quack. It was completely different from the quacks of hunger, annoyance or fear. It was like they were watching a Will Ferrell movie. And every time I’d peek out at them, they’d quickly disperse and act like they were eating grass roots or bugs.But they were probably conspiring to commit some sort of wicked crime. And it’s going to be a doozy if their raucous laughter is any clue.

Then we discover them and their whole back door operation, and I’ve got to say, I’m a bit concerned. It’s pitch black outside, and as I sit in the quiet living room, I hear them milling around outside…circling the house…quacking every so often like one of them is barking out orders. I can’t help thinking of all the animated movies I’ve seen over the years. I’m pretty sure a whole group of ducks could so some damage. It’s almost scary if you think about it. I mean, if they weren’t little ducks. Like…if they were zombie ducks. That would be absolutely terrifying.

But they’re not.

We could totally eat them if we wanted to.

Lucky for them, they’re cute.

Until the next time…I’ll be locking the doors

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on September 4, 2012 .