talking turkey

Wow...has it been a week since I last posted a blog? I seriously need to get out of my funk and get back to blogging. But it's been a crazy year. I have a book coming out on the day after Christmas, so I have lots to do before then. My first task has been tackling the dreaded Christmas cards. And in a crazy twist of fate, for the first time in over a decade, I may actually mail them. I'll have to send out a mass message letting people know I didn't die. (I once stated if people started getting Christmas cards from me, it was surely my estate, after having found my stash of never-mailed cards and my final will stating they should send those suckers out.) I'll just say it now...rumors of my death are probably gross exaggerations.

As far as my Thanksgiving, it was a darn good one. I started my morning with a bit of television nostalgia.  A friend posted a clip from WKRP in Cincinnati, one of my favorite shows from back in the day. It was the Thanksgiving episode where the fictitious radio station did a “turkey drop” releasing dozens of turkeys from an airplane.  Of course, the punch line was, turkeys can’t fly. 

But I happen to know turkeys can fly, though perhaps not when dropped from a plane, but they certainly can fly from one side of my fence to the other. Even if they can't figure out how to get back once they do. And they can most definitely fly from one side of the highway to the other.  My sister once totaled her car hitting a turkey. She didn’t even try to avoid it. My mother had always told her not to swerve for birds; they will get out of the way at the last minute. 

For the record, that rule does NOT apply to turkeys. Turkeys will NOT get out of the way at the last minute.  They will dent the hood, then the roof of your car, shattering your windshield on the way. For a bird, they do a great imitation of a deer when you hit them.  I guess it’s a little like driving fifty-five miles per hour down the highway and having someone toss a bowling ball into your path.  At least that’s what my husband said when he finished laughing at the story of my sister and the turkey.


When it comes to turkey facts, my husband is full of them.  Out of the blue yesterday, he mentioned the statistics of how many people blow themselves up while attempting to deep fry a turkey for Thanksgiving.  Apparently, you can’t deep fry a frozen turkey.  Who knew? Hubby did.  Obviously, as a native of New York State, I have never even considered deep frying my turkey. I'm pretty sure it's not a "Yankee" tradition. And for the record, I've also never cooked it with the bag of innards still inside the bird.  But with my track record in the kitchen, it’s a wonder I haven’t done worse.  Then again, I suppose there isn't much worse than sending a turkey into space on the tail of a deep fryer.

As for us, we had a fairly uneventful Thanksgiving. Well, after the actual execution of poor Carter A. Turkey--this year's dinner. For his part, he was delicious. And cooked the old fashioned way…in the oven. Operation: "Raising turkeys" has been a complete success. Now onto "Making Christmas." Wish me luck!

Until the next time…I’ll be recovering from the food coma!

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Posted on December 1, 2013 .