Today is not my birthday. Yesterday was not my birthday, either. But that didn't stop me from wearing a sparkly pink birthday crown through the evening at karaoke. Why? Well, the birthday girl didn't want to wear it, and since I signed her book last night, she suggested I wear it and pretend I was Katie at her birthday party. Oh, and it matched my outfit. And you just can't waste a sparkly birthday crown when it matches your outfit.
Now, before you ask, I wasn't drunk, I didn't even drink, (though I did eat more than my fair share of red velvet cake) but there I was, hot pink v-neck top and pink crown, singing like I owned the joint. And it was a busy night. Tourists wished me happy birthday so many times, I almost forgot I was born in December.
And let me just say, tourists at karaoke are a funny sight to behold. There was the pseudo cowboy, singing pitifully off-key, with his Bluetooth headset in his ear, wearing a ten gallon hat (committing a sin against cowboys everywhere by wearing sneakers instead of boots) two enormous wads of keys dangling precariously near his crotch (whether to draw attention or distract, I wasn't sure) and cuffed jeans.
Then there was the aging stripper (oh, you would have made the same assumption if you'd seen her) who danced provocatively near the stage while demanding no one take her picture because she's (and I quote) "...in the witness protection program" (insert eye roll here), then climbed on to the stage to sing (I'm using this term very loosely) the worst rendition of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, I've ever heard. And ok, I know this makes me a terrible person, but as she belted out the lyrics in such a way that made my mother sound like Celine Dion (sorry Mom, but you know you can't carry a tune) I was singing along with my own lyrics, "whores just wanna have fah-uhn. Oh, whores just wanna have fun."
I'm sure people thought I was drunk, I was laughing so hard. And this was before the local drunken grandma got on stage to hump one of the local guys singing a ballad. So yeah, me in a birthday crown seemed somewhat normal by comparison. And that's why I love this little town. I fit right in with the crazies.
Until the next time...I'll be trying to get my dog to wear the crown for a picture.