poison ivy is no joke (giggle)

Why is it the moment someone says, "This is no laughing matter!" I can't I stop laughing?  Ok, that makes me sound mean, and I'm not mean. Really, I'm not. I'm just finding this situation amusing for some unfathomable reason.

You see, someone in my house has poison ivy (thank GOD it's not me) and he has it so bad I may have tossed around the word leper... a lot (No offense to anyone who actually has leprosy--and for the record, he doesn't.) Sadly, my wicked streak of humor has not endeared me to him...at all, but it's all in good fun, right?

Well, maybe not fun for him. As it turns out, poison ivy is quite pervasive, and extremely uncomfortable. And the best remedies aren't exactly pleasant either. We've managed to slather my unhappy hub...er...IDP, in the thick smelly paste of an old fashioned sulfur-based farm remedy. It's on his arms...and his legs...between his fingers...and even on his face. And it stinks. And sorta burns. But it's supposed to cure the rash. And I'm sure it will...eventually. For now, he's wrapped up in paper towels, held together with bandage tape, making him look a little like a decaying mummy on loan from a museum in Egypt or something. But, I'm not laughing at him. Really, I'm not... not to his face anyway.

So, I'll bet you're wondering how he got this all over himself. Well, in his quest to clear the pasture over his vacation (yes, this has happened on while on vacation. How cliche, right?) he used a chainsaw to cut down small trees and vines, and as it turns out, this can actually send the plant juices into the air. Basically, my poor imaginary dead president created a sticky bomb out of the poison ivy vine.

I can only hope I really am as immune as I've been spouting, and not just incredibly lucky. But since my luck is not that good (I did trip over that very same chainsaw in the kitchen the day he used it in the field, slicing up my toes in the process) I have to believe it's my amazing immunities. Otherwise I'd have poison ivy all over my feet right now. And I don't. Thank goodness!

In closing, poison ivy may not be a joke...but it is really funny to make fun of. Until I end up with it. Then, I'll be singing a completely different tune. Something in D-minor, I suspect. 

Until the next time...I'll be applying the calamine lotion preemptively.  

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Posted on July 7, 2013 .