you want me to bake what?

I cannot bake bread.  Or better said…Today I sucked at baking bread.  Well, the baking part was fine—mostly.  I did burn one loaf, but I will blame that on the timer that didn’t go off (because I never set it).  My bread did not turn out right, mostly because of other factors. 

One: My husband started four loaves last night and expected me to take over in the morning.

Let’s face it…I do not have a stellar record in the kitchen.  I have set fire to things, flooded the stove, not to mention dropped, spilled, and burned things far too many times.  It was not a smart choice to have me try to bake four loaves at once when I have never baked bread before.  We should have started with one!

Two: I think the recipe was stupid.  It was a “no kneed” bread that certainly seemed to need some kneeding if you ask me.  It didn’t rise as it should have.  It created bread that was far too dense and spongy.

I didn’t pick the recipe.  My husband got it from one of his “all natural” websites, and it was supposedly studied and perfected.  It was not studied or perfected in my kitchen today!

Three: We did not have the proper tools.

This bread was supposed to be baked in a Dutch oven.  We have an American oven.  And…yes I know what a Dutch oven is, but we still didn’t have one, so I had to use regular old bread pans.  This bread did not like regular old bread pans. 

I will say that it tasted pretty good, if you could get past the sponginess and the overall heaviness of the bread.  Mike said it will be good to feed to ducks.  If we had chickens, I’d bet they would eat it.  But we have no chickens. 

At least it was cheap to make.

My husband is going to have to work way harder if he wants me to become an Amish housewife!  I just don’t see that happening. 

And did I mention that bread dough is very sticky?  It gets between your fingers, and it doesn’t seem to matter how much flour you dust your hands or counters with…it will stick to everything!

Tomorrow I will be making pizza from scratch—spinach and goat cheese pizza—something I have done many times with great success.  It’s important to do something well.  Especially if you plan on eating it! 

It will be a group effort though, so I can’t take all the credit.  My best girlfriends (the posse) will be stopping by at lunch tomorrow.  It will be nice catching up.  I’ve been out of the loop for over a week now.  I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes!

Until the next time…I’ll be making pizza in my sleep!

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Posted on June 14, 2010 .