that’s why the zombie’s a tramp

I was having a pretty good day.  It was beautiful outside, comfortably cool and sunny.  I had a nice lunch outing followed by a productive trip to the bookstore where I wrote several pages on my current work in progress.  My husband and I even watched a movie together (while multitasking on separate laptops). 

It was lovely.

Then as soon as the movie was over, my husband switched the television to a documentary about a post-apocalyptic world.  It was everything I had ever feared…and then some. 

I couldn’t watch, but I couldn’t look away, sort of like that part in the movie Wild Things when Kevin Bacon steps out of the shower and you can totally see “everything.”  Right…I closed my eyes that time.  Sure I did. 

But this time, there was no naked Bacon in a shower.  This time I was watching a world with no people.  A world where dogs devoured dogs…and rust ate away at skyscrapers and monuments. 

Somebody make it stop!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…we need to prepare. 

Well, I’m not much for preparation, but I’ll happily oversee.  My son is the zombie warrior and my husband is the one who prepares for the apocalypse.  I basically stay out of the way for fear of breaking something. 

But I don’t want the world to disappear.  I don’t want to be eaten by zombies.  I want to turn back the clock to a simpler time.  A time when Frank, Dean and Sammy were the coolest cats on Earth. 

I think the Rat Pack would have been the coolest zombie hunters in the world.   Sinatra would never run from a zombie.  He would walk right up to one (singing Witchcraft, of course) tip his hat with a grin, then Dean would take him out with a broken liquor bottle.

I think a zombie apocalypse would be almost fun if Frank, Sammy and Dean were out front, killing zombies in the desert and driving around in a baby blue convertible, stopping off to do a show along the way.  Of course, the old Sand’s hotel would be their base of operations, and they would report directly to President Kennedy. 

I don’t know about you…but I’d totally buy tickets to that show.

Until the next time…I’ll be watching the original Ocean’s Eleven!

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Posted on September 8, 2011 .