honest, it's not what it looks like

It was one of those days. First, I cut my leg while painting. Who does this, you ask? Me. That’s who. But come on…you should have known that. So yeah, I cut my leg, up high on my thigh. It was a ladder injury. If you’re thinking it was a bad idea from the start…me being on a ladder at all…you would be right. But sometimes you have to take risks. My risk was getting on a ladder. In shorts, no less. And I got a little cut. Nothing major. It just needed a Band Aid and it was all fixed. In fact, I forgot all about it until I ran to the restroom while at karaoke.

I won’t say I’ve never been a risk taker by wearing white pants…or in this case…linen pants when that color is really unadvisable. In fact, just last month, I had a female emergency while wearing those same pants. But there was absolutely no risk of that last night. None. I was in the clear, and safe to wear my favorite light weight trousers.

Until the Band Aid slipped off.

So yeah, there I am, in a public restroom (in the far back of the pub) when I discover, not only did my bandage come off, but the cut is bleeding again. Are you with me so far? So yeah, I’m bleeding…on my inner thigh…and I probably would have been ok if I hadn’t tried to wipe it with a wet rag. Because then, not only did it smear, but my pants were wet and it spread. Who knew just a little water would spread so far in a pair of white linen pants? Not me. Obviously.

So there I am. Trapped in the bathroom with this huge red stain in the back of my pants that looked suspiciously like…well, you know. And who the hell is going to believe me that it wasn’t…you know? And I still had to go out there and sing.

And yeah. I sang. Because when it comes right down to it, I’m a diva. And the diva must go on. A little blood isn’t about to stop me!

I was just banking on the fact that everyone else was really drunk and the room was plenty dark. Maybe no one even noticed.

Then again, I’m never that lucky.

Until the next time…I’ll be retiring my light colored pants for the season.


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Posted on September 19, 2012 .