I'll bet Hemingway didn't have to deal with this crap

Being a writer has many perks. 

I have an instant escape vehicle that transports me to faraway places without having to leave the safety of my bed…or my pajamas.  I can engage in adventures that I would never be brave enough—or foolish enough—to engage in within the boundaries of the real world.  I can be anyone I want to be—from the heroine to the villain. And people actually expect me to indulge in the occasional cocktail, a la Hemingway and his daiquiri fixation. So, pour me a frosty cold beverage, and pass me the laptop, I think I'm on a roll.

But that being said, life as a writer is not without its drawbacks. 

When you are a writer, everyone wants you to help them with their research papers…essays…or dissertations. They ask for help spelling words they've never even used in the proper context before (and with good reason). And they plop down beside you with a ream of paper containing the next Great American Novel (handwritten, of course) and since it's a well known fact you spend your days lounging in your pajamas, they ask you to "take a peek" at it in your "spare time." 

The thing is…I really don’t mind helping.  In fact, I like it.  It makes me feel useful.  Needed.  If I was a mechanic they'd probably ask me to look under their hood, or change their oil. Ok, so maybe I'm not the best person to pass off that handwritten novel, but a little proofreading or helping write a simple paper is much easier, and cleaner, than fixing a loose timing belt.

Until they assume that I'll write the whole thing. 

And hey…my days of having to do homework are long past me.  I don’t want to research a paper.  I don’t want to read a boring book and then do a report on the contents.  Especially when I can’t take credit for the A I'll undoubtedly earn.

Then again…once I get started, I can’t stop myself.  The writer in me takes over.  I start to get excited about the topic.  I suddenly feel the need to make everything sound perfect.  And I’m hooked!  They’ve got me…and the perfect paper begins to take shape.

And I still can’t take credit when I get an A. 

Oh well…I suppose I should just stick to creating interesting characters…and writing blogs. 

And maybe the occasional research paper here and there.  You know…just because.

Until the next time…I’ll be working on a little romantic comedy for a change.

Copyright © 2000-2018, Erica Lucke Dean. All rights reserved. Any retranscription or reproduction is prohibited and illegal.
Posted on April 7, 2013 .