Tonight, as a special treat, we have author Stephen Kozeniewski guest blogging for me because I was lazy...I mean Indy got bit by a snake and I was taking care of him. And I'm milking that excuse for at least another day. And no, I'm not drunk (though I do occasionally partake, despite what some might think) but I think Stephen is.

Eh, at least I get the night off, right?

Ladies and gentlemen...I give you, Stephen Kozeniewski...

Attention followers of Erica Lucke Dean!

I now control the vertical.

I now control the horizontal.

I now control the fluff.

Yes. That’s right. ALL the fluff in China.

Because Indy is sick. So while Erica is taking care of doggy I am spelling her for a day on her blog. I know it’s not normally guest post day (Saturdays, 12:00/11:00 central) but, I mean, come on. Her dog got bit by a Coppertone.

What? Sun tan lotion? Yes I know.

Her dog got bit by an ophidian of some description.

So, for today, one day only, you get a blue light special on me: Snephen Kozanflumflum. (I forget how it’s spelled.)

First of all, I want to point out that I have repeatedly canvassed Erica to change the name of her blog to Shit Out of Lucke. (Clever, no? Not, “Clever: no” but rather the interrogative. But also the first thing.) And every time she has responded, “Did you know Cooper was based on Harry Cargill?”

Yes. Yes, we all know that.

The topic tonight is booze. The reason behind said pre-aforementioned topic is that Erica, as you know, does not and should not drink. However, if Sex and the City has taught me anything (and it hasn’t) it’s that romance people like their booze. And that Baryshnikov is a terrible, terrible lover. So two things, really, that it didn’t teach us.

My poison of choice is bourbon. It’s not very ladylike, which is good, because I’m not. Ladylike. (Except for pedicures. Those are awesome.) And, specificagally, a brand of Old Bourbon called Booze Crow. I’m drinking it right now, in fact. You couldn’t tell. That’s how good I am at wordsmithery.

And why not? But, more importantly, why? Because I’m an author. A scrivener, a la Bartleby. A writesman. And if there’s one thing that everyone knows that they didn’t learn from Sex and the City, it’s that writesmans needs booze.

And why not? But more importantly, why? Take Hemingway. Please. [rimshot] It is a well-known and popular fact that Hemingway drank excessively all his life with no ill effects. (ed – Hemingway shot himself as a result of morbid alcoholism.)

Or, as another example, take Poe. Please. [crickets] Ahem. [clears throat] Poe also drank his whole life, and also, with no ill effects. (ed – Poe also took his own life due to morbid alcoholism.) Or Bukowski! (ed – Bukowski…well, he died of leukemia. But the booze probably didn’t help matters.)

But what is it about bourbon, brownest of the brown liquors, and Old Crow, oldest of the brownest of the brown liquors, that causes me to recommend it so highly? Well, because Old Crow is a classic. My friends, to a tee, make fun of me for this predilection.

“Old Crow is a bottom shelf,” they say, or they would, if they were still talking to me.

“Ahhhh,” I would theoretically reply, “But was it not Dr. James Crow, the eponymous ‘Crow’ of the title, who invented the single batch sour mash process?”

To which nodding all around would be my reward.

So, I guess what I’m saying is: Kids, don’t drink. It’s not cool. Be cool. Like Erica. And feel better, Indy. There, I was nice to a dog. Proof positive of my humanity in these situations.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled flibberjibbetflurmypassthebour

bon…

Blog: http://manuscriptsburn.blogspot.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/outfortune

Until the next time...I'll be enjoying my much deserved night off.

Today I'm doing something a little different. A bunch of writer friends and I were challenged to write 100-word drabbles with the topic, "Payback." If you're not familiar with the format, a "drabble" is a little piece of writing that is 100 words long, or less. In the most technical sense, that drabble should be exactly 100 words. And mine is...

Payback

“Wait…ugh…right there. That’s it.”
“You like that baby?” he purred from above.
“Oh, God, you know I do.” I moaned, as he worked his magic.
He paused while I slowed my breathing. “Well, as they say, turnabout is fair play.”
“By all means, consider this my payback. Again?”
He laughed. “You got it, sweetheart.”
I groaned as he initiated round two.
“Forgot how good I am?” he asked, tickling my sides.
“Shut up.” I giggled. “Be glad I’ve held out this long.”
“You’d better not be doing this with anyone else!”
“Never. You give the best massages.”
“Yes, I know.”

To visit the other Red Adept author blogs for their take on the drabble...

For Stephen Kozeniewski visit http://manuscriptsburn.blogspot.com/2013/06/june-drabble-rodeo-entry-payback.html

For Harvey Chute visit http://harveychute.blogspot.com/2013/06/drabble.html

For Edward Lorn visit http://edwardlorn.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/red-adept-day-of-drabbles/

For Kimbery Giarratano visit http://kggiarratano.tumblr.com/post/53835955907/payback

For Jaime Leigh visit http://waywalkersguide.com/authors-blog/

For Naomi Rinceoir visit http://naomirinceoir.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/drabble-day/

For Cassie Cox visit http://manuscriptsburn.blogspot.com/p/melinda-stared-at-her-lovers-laptop.html

Check back later for more additions to the round robin...and feel free to leave your own in the comments.

Until the next time...I'll be writing!