Well, it's finally happened. The pigs have given me swine flu. I'm hacking and coughing. I can't breathe. I'm tortured with body aches and fever. I was plagued with strange dreams all night long...that is, when I slept. I'm not sure I'll survive til morning.

Or I just have a cold. Could go either way. I suppose I should err on the side of caution and stay in bed. Doing dishes and laundry is probably bad for a cold. I definitely shouldn't cook or clean...that stirs up dust. No, I should take it easy. Drink lots of juice. Keep a roll of toilet paper within arms reach at all times. Slather on the Vicks. Definitely, stay away from the pigs. Can't take any chances with lowered immunity.

If it weren't for the sneezing and runny nose, the headache and sore throat, the chills and lack of appetite (I'm not even craving chocolate!) I'd say this was just like any other day. But it's not. So I'm heading back to bed.

Until the next time...I'll be dreaming up my next blog post!

I've been here before. I'm dressed for the gala ball in my honor. My hair is done to the nines, my dress is fabulous, I can even walk in the shoes. But wait. When I look down, I realize I'm wearing a short skirt, and I haven't shaved my legs...in like a month!

Oops!

Then there's the dream where I'm just about to kiss my hot movie star dream guy when I wake up to a wet tongue and dog breath. We've all had dreams like this, where the world is perfect for one bright shining moment and then...pop! The bubble bursts and it's back to reality we go.

So, as I read through my email and discover I have yet another agent (can you say 6? Count 'em, six agents!) interested in my book, I start to wonder when the alarm clock is going to go off, dragging me back to my mundane little life of chickens, duck(s), and killer pigs. I'm sort of afraid to let myself believe it's all real, for fear I really will wake up and be disappointed.

But I guess, for now, the only thing I can do is go with it. Keep sending out those requested manuscripts while I wait for the other glass slipper to drop. Hey, who knows...maybe there really is a guy on a white horse standing in the wings, or a crazy top-hat-wearing-Johnny Depp character waiting to take me to the top in his glass elevator.

Stranger things have happened, right? And if I'm lucky, I'll get a piece of fancy chocolate while I'm at it.

Until the next time...I'll be waiting (not so patiently).