I think I may have finally burned myself out on the fan fiction. I suppose I’m a snob. I’ve been spoiled by my peers. I know so many fabulous writers that when I stumble on something so wretchedly written, I seem to find it that much worse than I may have otherwise.

So, calling all writers…get an editor!

Ok, so maybe I needed one too, and that’s ok. Any writer worth his or her salt needs an editor. But people please…some need one more than others.

I spent several painful hours this evening skimming through the needless fluff of a story I was reading just so I could find out how it ended. I don’t even know what possessed me to keep going when page after page of narration washed over me like the overflow of a septic tank (gross but true.)

I wanted to love it. And I really did love it right up to the point where the story took a nasty turn into info-dumpville. Do I really need to know every single steps the characters took as they baked a cake? Really? We needed ten pages of measuring the flour…the shortening…greasing the pan? I wasn’t reading Betty Crocker for crap sake. I was reading what was supposed to be romantic comedy. Unless I actually get a piece of the damn cake at the end, I don’t need to know step by step directions. I also didn’t need to have the same exact scene written out from each character’s point of view (POV for future reference) I mean…come on…it was the exact same dialogue from three different POVs. I didn’t need to read it over and over again. I actually paid attention the first time, and I was really annoyed as I skimmed through twice after that to see if I really needed the other POV to make sense of what was going on (I didn’t, by the way.)

And while I’m ranting…please keep your facts straight!

I actually read a flashback scene in the later part of the story that had been completely modified from the first time I’d read about that scene from the beginning. And I don’t mean POV…I mean actual continuity. That’s a major no-no. Take the time to keep your stuff straight!

Or lose readers.

Other than the crazy readers with OCD who can’t abandon the story until they find out what the hell happens. Yeah, we’ll still be here…skimming our way to the end, cursing you the entire time…poking imaginary needles into your imaginary voodoo doll. And you really don’t want that, do you?

Right…so just take my advice. Get an editor before you put your stuff out there for the world to see. I might forgive you for using rode when you meant road. I might even look the other way when you use the wrong there, their or they’re. But I’m not going to look the other way when your character suddenly has blue eyes in chapter ten when you so brilliantly described them as brown in chapter one.

Ok. I’m done now. I’m just glad I surround myself with brilliant writers who would never ever make those sorts of mistakes…right?

Until the next time…I’ll be sending a few pages over to MY editor for a quick peek!

Have you ever had one of those perfect moments? You think, “Nothing could beat this…I wouldn’t change a thing.” Then a little time goes by and you glance at the photos from that perfect moment to realize the black eyeliner you thought was stylish actually made you look like a rabid raccoon. Or the over-sprayed hair that could withstand the gale force winds of a hurricane reminds you of a giant space helmet on your head.

Fashion is a fickle friend.

But I’m not talking about fashion (I don’t even look at those old pictures of me if I can avoid it) I’m talking about words.

More specifically, I’m talking about my book, To Katie with Love.

The words I was married to, chained to like an activist to a tree, had to go. Not all of them…the story is amazing (if I do say so myself) but the story can easily be hidden by the over-use of words…sort of like the beauty hiding under a layer of black eyeliner and hairspray. So I’m taking Katie back to her natural state, stripping away some of the make-up that takes away from her beauty.

And trust me when I say, don’t let anyone convince you to write a book without a good editor. You will never be willing to part with the things you really don’t need without someone holding your hand along the way…or rather dragging you by the hand along the way. I have to give a HUGE thanks to Laura Kolar and Kelly Gamble for working with me on this project. They are the two best editors I’ve ever worked with, and without their advice (often delivered like the blow of a sledge hammer upside my hard as cement head) Katie would continue to struggle under the weight of unnecessary words.

And don’t ever let anyone tell you the creative process is a simple one. Oh, it’s worth every drop of blood, sweat, or tears along the way…but it’s not easy.

But neither is anything worth going after.

Until the next time…I’ll be editing!