can you die from breathing in dog farts?

This is the question that my husband has been asking all evening as he attempts to watch TV and surf on his laptop while the dog sleeps at his feet…passing toxic dog gas all the while. 

I’m not sure of the answer, but I’m happily sitting near the dog’s head. 

Mike and I had an interesting day.  We took a little time to get out and experience the outside world, but for the most part, we stayed in and did nothing.  Mike woke up feeling less than exuberant, and I woke up with a horrible headache for the third day in a row.  His was sinuses.  Mine was high blood pressure.  My own stubborn behavior, and attempts to heal myself by using natural remedies, was thwarted by the fact that when your blood pressure gets high enough it feels as if your head might actually explode.  And since I was not interested in having my head explode, I came to the conclusion that modern medicine wasn’t so bad after all. 

Back on the blood pressure meds I go.

Now with any luck, the ringing in my ears and the headache will dissipate as the medication begins to work its magic.  Bad thing about this new discovery…it makes writing somewhat impossible.  So instead of an interesting blog, I will slip off to bed and heal myself by following doctor’s orders…this time anyway. 

And besides…it’s kind of dangerous being in this room.  I don’t know if you can die from breathing in dog farts, but I’m pretty sure if someone lights a match or if there is a spark of any kind, the house will blow up.  After all…a dog that weighs one hundred (plus) pounds can pass a whole lot of toxic gas!

Until the next time…I don’t care how cold it gets tonight, I’ll be sleeping with the windows open!

stress shows his ugly face...again

You would think I would be totally relaxed during this vacation week, but apparently, the stress was hiding somewhere deep inside just waiting for the most inopportune time to pop up and say, “surprise!”  Despite a pretty good day yesterday, and going to bed at a fairly reasonable time, I woke up this morning with the sort of headache that makes you feel like your head might just explode.  I knew immediately what this meant.  My blood pressure was high.  Possibly very high. 

The funny thing about stress is that you can hide from it for a while, but it finds you eventually.  I didn’t even suspect the stress was looking for me! It’s a good thing I have Mike!

My husband has been taking care of me all day.  He has cooked for me, fetched medicine from the pharmacy (I'm finally following my father's advice and taking a supplement for high blood pressure), and he even took the dogs out for me…

Back up a moment.  He didn’t actually take the dogs out for me, but not for a lack of trying.  The problem with the dogs lies in the fact that they refuse to go out with Mike.  They all whine to go out in the morning, and when he gets up to take them, they all climb back into their spots and pretend to be asleep again.  It’s as if they are telling him, “Oh no, we didn’t really have to go out.  We were only kidding.”

So I got up to take them out. 

We were originally supposed to close on our little bit of mountain air on Wednesday morning, but due to circumstances beyond our control, that has been postponed.  This leaves us with an opening in our plans.  We are going to wait until the morning to decide.  After all, I have no idea how I’ll feel in the morning. 

Hopefully better than I felt today. 

This calls for a good night’s sleep, I’d say.

Until the next time…I’m turning on the relaxation CD to listen to rain fall all night long!

a working vacation

I spent a very nice day with my husband today.  We didn’t do much of anything other than planning the rest of our week.  Tomorrow will be spent organizing and cleaning the garage.  Not something one usually looks forward to on vacation, but something that we have needed to accomplish for a very long time.  The goal is to simplify our lives by clearing away all unnecessary things.  Mike and I have come to realize that most people have far more things than they could ever need, and most of the time, many of those things go completely to waste.  We have a garage and a basement full of things that we haven’t touched in several years. 

And so tomorrow, we will begin the process of paring down. 

It’s quite funny to realize how easily we collect things we don’t need.  There are boxes of clothes packed away that no one in our house can wear.  We have fancy glassware and dishes that have gone unused for years.  And boxes of books that I just had to carry with me from home to home over the years that haven’t seen the light of day since we moved into our current house.  I’m not sure what we will keep, and what we will donate to goodwill, but I’m certain the pile to keep will be much smaller than the pile to give away. 

Once the sorting, organizing, and purging is complete we will turn our attention to the kitchen cabinets.  After spending far too much time searching for the cinnamon the other day, I have come to the conclusion that the spice cabinet must be completely redone.  I don’t look forward to that task, but I do look forward to a more organized kitchen. 

This won’t be the most exciting vacation Mike and I have taken, but I suspect we will get more done than we ever have before. 

Until the next time…I’ll be getting out the mop and bucket!

when did it become November?

They say time flies when you’re having fun.  It’s true.  Time does fly when you’re having fun.  It also flies when you’re not having fun.  And when you’re getting one more year older.  And when you’re remembering how things used to be so many years ago.  The only time it doesn’t fly is when you’re waiting for something to come…like your tax return check…or your period that’s been late for a day or two already. 

It seems to me like it was just June.  Maybe July.  Possibly August.  But not November…when did it become November? 

I know it was just October.  I enjoyed it very much.  But the Halloween decorations are down, and it’s too soon to decorate for Christmas, so that must mean its November.

The clocks went back an hour this morning, and I spent all morning thinking it was two hours earlier because somehow my cell phone tower thought I was in the central time zone.  Not that it mattered all that much.  Mike and I had no plans for the day and no pressure to make any.  We have all week to get to our “to do list”…and starting tomorrow, we will not rest until we check everything off the list.

As for tonight?   

A nice fire, and an old movie.  It is a pretty cold November. 

Until the next time…I’ll be pulling out the extra blankets and watching for snow!

just another saturday night

After a lovely evening in my happy place, I have decided to spend the day in the real world.  Mike was officially on vacation starting this morning, and we didn’t waste any time enjoying it.  We are determined to cram as much fun into the coming week as we can manage.  Today we hit the antique mall on a quest to find vintage woodworking tools for Mike to use when building our cabin.  He found a few pieces that he was looking for so the mission was a success. 

It was a great afternoon. 

After antiquing our day away, we made a few more stops to pick up dog treats and groceries before heading home.  Mike made an old fashioned “shepherd’s pie” for dinner and we drank wine by the fire while watching old movies.  It was nothing really exciting, but it was just what the doctor ordered.  Life is always so busy; it was nice to have a day of total leisure. 

Tonight marks the end of daylight savings time, so if you have clocks to turn back, don’t forget to do that.  I personally love turning the clocks back in fall.  There is nothing more refreshing than discovering that you have an extra hour of sleep coming to you.  As for as tomorrow…I don’t know what we’ll do, but I’m sure it will be relaxing.  I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

Until the next time…I’ll be sleeping in!

welcome to my happy place

It’s a place hidden deep inside my imagination, but if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can go there anytime I like.  It’s as easy as hopping into my imaginary Land Rover (the one that is newer and shinier than the one I have now) and heading north on the highway.

The drive is one I only make once the sun dips down below the horizon.  And as the sky grows darker and the stars get brighter, it is clear that I have left the city far behind me. 

The further north I go, the more turbulent the weather becomes—snowflakes diving at my windshield like tiny white knives stabbing the glass.  Swirls of white dance across the wash of my headlights like waves coming in sideways. After a long while, I turn off the main road onto a gravel path, winding up a hill into the snow dotted blackness of the night.  I would have been afraid if I wasn’t sure of my way, and anxious to arrive at my destination. 

The building, a small stone cottage tucked into a clearing in the woods, is dark except for a soft flickering glow coming from behind the windows.  I wrap my coat tightly around me and pull out my key, but before I can even slide it into the lock, the door is opened from within, and there he is…the most perfect incarnation of my true love. 

He smiles at me and despite the bitter cold outside, I am instantly warm all the way to my toes. 

He beckons me in with a look and I step inside.  As he takes my bag from me, he leans in and whispers, “I’ve missed you.”  And the warmth spreads through me, because as good as my happy place is, it’s so much better with him there. 

I glance around the room, and in the firelight, my other senses take everything in more than just seeing it.  Things like the raging fire in the big stone fireplace.  The glow of the flame dances off the low wooden ceiling in an erratic pattern.  Even from the entryway I can feel the heat coming off the crumbling stones as I listen to the crackle of the logs, and smell the aroma of burning oak.  After slipping off my shoes, my feet sink into the softness of the old wool rugs scattered across the well worn pine floors, as I make my way into the room.  

It is sparsely decorated, but doesn’t feel bare.  The textures of stone, wood, and leather are perfectly suited with the intricate pattern on the rugs.  Although I can barely see them, I also know the ironwork on the chandeliers add to the character of the ancient dwelling. 

After a lingering kiss, he ducks away for just a brief moment and comes back to hand me a glass of red wine.  Although there are two other comfortable chairs, we sink into the aged leather sofa together. 

Even with the fire, I know I should feel the cold as I listen to the wind whipping against outside walls of the cottage.

“Is the power out?” I ask him. I can’t be sure, but there are no signs of life with regard to the electronics that I know inhabit the tiny, one bedroom cottage—no hum coming from the refrigerator in the kitchen, no lights other than the orange glow of the flame, no sounds at all other than the crackle of the fire and the pounding of my heart. 

“The storm.”  He answers simply, and I am immediately disturbed by this news, because even in my happy place, I like the comfort of my internet, my cable TV, and my cell phone charger.  “Don’t worry.”  He says with a slight smile, smoothing the crease between my brows with his finger.  “The solar panels have charged the batteries, but I thought it would be romantic to dine by firelight.”

He thinks of everything. 

And with that, he takes my wine from me and leads me to the kitchen where another fire glows in a cast iron stove in one corner of the room.  In the center, a small table is draped with a white cloth and topped with white taper candles, simple white china, and silver flatware.

“What’s this?” I ask him, grinning like a teenage girl on her first date. 

“I thought you would be hungry, so I made you dinner.”  And he smiles his brilliant smile at me again, making me love him even more. 

After our wonderful meal, he refuses to allow me to clear away the dishes, instead taking me by the hand to guide me to the bedroom. 

Of course this room is the most perfect of all. 

A fire burns in another stone fireplace along the back wall, warming every inch of the room.  The antique black iron bed is centered between two small windows and is dressed in marvelous linen sheets with a goose down comforter and pillows.  It is like sleeping in a blanket of clouds.  But we won’t be sleeping—not yet—the night is still young, and after all, no one ever gets tired in my happy place.

Until the next time…I’ll be elaborating in my dreams!

the true price of gas

My daughter finally found a job.  This was after weeks of looking, wherein I would ride shotgun in the Land Rover as she drove to place after place to fill out application after application.  Today, the process finally paid off.

My little girl will be working at Honey Baked Ham for the holiday season. 

I’m trying to figure out if and how this will benefit me.  Not that it’s a priority.  The important thing is that she has a job.  A job that I will drive her to, and from, on a semi daily basis, I’m quite sure.  So it is too much to hope that I will get some food out of the deal?  Just now and then?  After all…I will be supplying the gas to get her to and from work.

I’ve thought a lot about gas today. 

As the temperature drops at night, even here in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, I think more and more about the cost of gas.  The gas at the pump has been rising in price for months, and now it’s time to turn up the gas to heat the house.  I have been burning wood in the fireplace this week rather than turning on the furnace.  It would appear to be more cost effective, and it’s definitely cozier. 

Oh, and the dog has a horrible case of gas. 

This is the gas that disturbs me the most, as he sleeps by my feet, passing gas that burns and brings tears to my eyes.  I wonder what on earth I could be feeding him that would cause such smells to emanate from him.  I begin to wonder if we could just bottle it.  It certainly seems potent enough to power both my car and my furnace.  Then again…it would probably be too potent.  This is the stuff that causes global warming…I’m certain of it. 

It’s going to be a very cold night here in Atlanta tonight, with temperatures dipping into the thirties, and I am determined to save energy by foregoing the furnace as long as possible.  I suppose having the dog sleep in the bed will keep me warm.  After all…he’s a little gas furnace all on his own!

Until the next time…I’ll be toasty warm (and wearing nose plugs!)

a lady of leisure

I’ve said it before, but I am certain it bears repeating…being a parent is some serious stuff.  And shepherding teenagers through the murky waters of adolescence is not for the faint of heart.  It is a full time job. 

A full time job without a single day off.

I had every intention of playing hooky today.  On the surface, that wouldn’t sound like a difficult task.  After all, I don’t have a day job anymore.  But the thing about not having a day job…it means you are available full time as a parent.  And being a full time parent may not pay well, but the hours are long and often grueling. 

So as I lay awake in my bed listening to the rain this morning, I had the idea that I would sleep in.  And when I was done sleeping in, I would lounge around the house tidying up anything I missed the day before, but generally spending the day relaxing.  After all, I deserved it.

But playing “hooky” wasn’t in the cards for me today. 

I would rather not go into graphic detail about the drama I was submersed in for the bulk of today, but I will say it involved more than one serious case of PMS. 

And we all know how dangerous that can be!

The important thing to note is that I have survived so far, and the day is almost over.  I have high hopes for tomorrow, but I won’t even pretend to plan a day of leisure.  Instead, I will tell myself that tomorrow will be long and grueling, and if I’m lucky, I’ll find a few moments of solitude in the sea of excitement.  The law of averages alone is on my side!

Until the next time…I’ll be ready for battle!

election day

Some days I would like to pull out something I wrote a long time ago and just recycle it.  Some days I don’t feel like writing a blog at all.  Some days I just want to be lazy. 

Those are the days when writing is most important.

So today I’m going to put myself into my “happy place”.  The place I go when I want the creativity to flow.  It’s not a real place, but it’s locked inside my head and only I have the key. 

Today, my happy place is a small cottage in a dark wooded forest.  Outside, the night is cold and snow is falling lightly, covering the ground.  Inside, there is a raging fire burning in the rustic stone fireplace, and old wool rugs warm the worn wooden floor.  The walls are stone on one side, and rough hewn wood on the others.  The ceiling is also made of weathered wood and it’s low, but not so low as to make you feel claustrophobic.  It feels more like the walls are hugging you in their warmth.  I sit curled up on a battered leather sofa, nestled into the soft smooth cushions—the old leather is warmed by my body heat.  A bevy of rusted lanterns line the craggy old mantle providing the only light, other than the fire below.  But I don’t need more light.  I have a light within that glows. 

Ok…enough of my happy place.  It’s really just a modified version of my keeping room anyway. 

I built a fire in my very own (real) fireplace and parked myself in my favorite chair to watch HGTV on the flat screen above the mantle while I write my blog. 

A blog about not much at all…because I spent my day cleaning out the refrigerator and running errands. 

I almost forgot to vote this morning, and very nearly went in my pajamas just because I didn't think anyone would notice.  I changed my mind at the last minute. The polling place for us is practically across the street from my vet.  And I had to go there too. 

After my weekly visit to the vet, my six month old Mastiff puppy, Indiana Jones, has been weighed (ninety-nine pounds) and has freshly trimmed nails.  I have a new thirty pound bag of dog food that will last me about a week and a day, and my clean refrigerator is stocked with food for the people in our house.  My husband (who works far too many hours to even consider the two hour daily commute when he could just work from home) worked from the office today and arrived home late, delighted to see that the house was still pristine and dinner was ready.  This should allow me room to slack off for a few days without much notice.  I could use a total slacker day. 

Maybe tomorrow.

For now, I think I’ll just enjoy the fire for a little while longer before going to bed.  I’m loving this cool weather we’re having…it reminds me of what November is supposed to be. 

Until the next time…I’ll be dreaming up things to do while I’m being a slacker.

all saints day

Today may have been all saints day, but I was hardly surrounded by saints all day.  Or maybe I was, but that is a question that is far deeper than I want to get with tonight’s blog. 

Basically, today was the day after Halloween.  And true to my promise to Mike in the beginning of October, I took down all of the Halloween decorations before he got home from work today.  I started when I woke up, otherwise I might have procrastinated all day and done nothing.  It felt wonderful to collect all of the creepy and spooky into one cohesive unit.  This is probably the first time in history that a clean-up has occurred at my house so soon after the holiday was over.  I was in such a state of focus that I almost went down to the basement and grabbed the Christmas decorations to put up.  But I knew Mike would hate seeing Santa all through the house before the turkey had even gone into the oven.  This leaves me three weeks to plan my Christmas decorations before pulling them out.  I may like this being home all day thing after all.  And as a side note, one benefit of pulling all of the fake spider webs from the chandeliers is that all of the dust tends to come with them.  So my house is not only clear of all Halloween paraphernalia, but it is also remarkably clean as well. 

Tomorrow is my shopping day, and I need to cover a large area to retrieve everything I need to buy.  Dog food is in one corner of the county, and the fresh eggs in another.  Not that I’m complaining, but I should have gone out today because rain is expected tomorrow, and I’d really rather not venture out in a rainstorm if I had a choice.  Which I don’t…because I literally have one bowl’s worth of dog food left and three dogs to feed. 

Three dogs that are all sleeping peacefully at my feet this evening.  Something I should be doing. 

In fact…I think I’ll head off to bed now.  I got a lot done today, I deserve a good night’s sleep, don’t you think?

Until the next time…I’ll be digging out my rain coat and rubber boots for a day in the rain!

you’re joking right?

Halloween.  By definition, that means mischief is surely to be afoot.  I know this, and yet it came as a complete surprise to me as I was surrounded on all sides by mischief. 

Trying to coordinate four teenage girls to get ready for trick or treating is a task best left to professionals.  But as I don’t have any professional costume dressers at my house, I was left to deal with it on my own.  The original plan was to meet their friends at six to trick or treat, but things being as they are with teenagers; we didn’t leave the house until seven.  This wasn’t a problem, however, because their friends weren’t ready until seven anyway. 

Teenagers.

So the plan—the third or fourth plan anyway—was to meet the rest of their friends at a local Wendy’s restaurant and go together to the designated trick or treat location. 

As we made our way to Wendy’s, we had a brief scare as a police car blew past us, sirens blaring and lights flashing.  Before it passed us, we had the fleeting worry that we were the intended target—being pulled over for some unknown reason. 

But it wasn’t us. 

The police car turned down a nearby road in pursuit of someone, and we pulled into Wendy’s. 

We parked, so one of the girls could run in and use the bathroom, and another could grab a burger.  Their friends (three boys that we knew very well) were standing outside waiting, leaning against their car.  They had arrived just ahead of us, and were anxious to get going to the candy collecting. 

Unfortunately, they weren’t going anywhere. 

While the girls were inside Wendy’s the police had surrounded us, blocking the boy’s car, as well as mine, in. 

Apparently, there had just been a crime committed by two teenage boys who then fled the scene on foot, and the police suspected the girls’ friends were involved, and by extension, possibly the girls.

And by extension…me!

It was a tense few minutes before my skills as a rational adult prevailed and I was able to convince the police that we had, in fact, just arrived and had nothing to do with any crime.  The boys weren’t so lucky, and I couldn’t do anything to help them.  They were on their own, and with a little luck, and hopefully the truth on their sides, they would be released soon. 

With my hands and my insides shaking, I dropped the girls off at the trick or treat spot and reluctantly waved goodbye.  I knew they were perfectly safe in their group of friends (a pack of teenagers is almost as lethal as a pack of coyotes!) And I made them promise to check in every few minutes until I felt comfortable. 

They checked in frequently to let me know they were safe, and once just to let me know the boys had been released and had met up with them. 

I didn’t really relax until they made it home a few hours later. 

This whole Halloween thing was a lot easier when they still dressed up as superheroes and princesses and didn’t leave my side the entire night. 

Time sure flies when you’re raising kids!

Now I’m ready for bed…and ready to move on to the next holiday on the list.  As much as I love Halloween, I’m glad it’s over. 

Until the next time…I’ll be cleaning up a whole lot of spider webs and skeletons!

left at the altar

With only thirty minutes to go before my guests were due to arrive at my annual Halloween party, I painstakingly prepared my costume.  I had already dressed the house in the finest in Halloween attire, prepared the food and drinks, and cleaned the kitchen along the way so the only thing left to do was to dress myself.  I had planned this costume for weeks.  Most years I have grand plans to dress in an elaborate costume only to end up as a witch at the last minute. 

This year, I was determined to follow through with my plans. 

My husband was certain that no one would catch the literary reference in my costume.  After all, unless you’re dressing as Ebenezer Scrooge or the ghost of Christmas past, a Charles Dickens character is probably a little on the obscure side.  I wasn’t worried.  Miss Havisham was one of the more memorable characters by Dickens.  And dressing as an elderly spinster, still wearing the gown she wore when she was left at the altar in her youth, is definitely on the creepy side.  And I had creepy down pat!

But I may have played the part a little too well. 

Much like my character, I was figuratively left at the altar.  One by one, my guests sent me messages to let me know they would not be attending my party.  I felt like I was thirteen years old again and no one showed up for my birthday party. 

Well…almost no one.

My wonderful neighbors (and book club members) Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Weenie were the only guests to show up to enjoy the lovely food and drink.  So our small group sat around the breakfast table and visited for a while. 

There was no karaoke…no costume contest…no bobbing for apples.

Thankfully, I didn’t actually bake a wedding cake…mine was just a prop dressed with rubber rats and plastic spiders. 

A little while later, my son brought a few friends over for a brief stop on their way to an age appropriate venue for his group. 

At least someone ate the food.

And we will have lots of yummy leftovers for the next several days.  I can’t really complain about that.  No food will go to waste in the planning of this party. 

Perhaps I should give up trying to have parties. 

Or just have parties with my dogs.  They were happy to eat some of the cheese and carrots from the veggie tray. 

Then again…on the positive side (because there is always a positive side) my house is very clean, and the trick or treaters that come by tomorrow will very much enjoy the spooky decorations that await them.  And that’s what Halloween is really about isn’t it—the kids? 

But isn’t there just a little bit of kid in all of us?

Isn’t there?

Until the next time…unlike Miss Havisham, I’ll be taking off my costume and carefully putting it away for next year.

what’s wrong with a little chocolate?

I think I have discovered why my willpower has been so completely compromised during this Halloween week.  It would appear that PMS has reared its ugly head yet again.  Although, you would think by now I would have the dates worked out so this sort of thing didn’t catch me so unaware.  Yet as PMS goes, this has been a relatively uneventful episode.  I really can’t complain.  Other than my overindulgence in candy, I hadn’t noticed any symptoms.  I’ve even been relatively even tempered, all things considered.  Then again, I have self medicated on large doses of chocolate after all!

Through some random stroke of luck, I was able to sleep until ten this morning.  Of course, I did get up at three, five and six thirty for the dogs…but that has been a pattern lately.  The sleeping until ten has not.  So I felt quite refreshed when I finally rolled out of bed. 

I spent most of the day cleaning the house and watching scary movies on Netflix.  Such is the Friday before Halloween.  The good news is, it’s officially the weekend.  And I need to get to bed early tonight.  I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow.  I will be getting ready for the party tomorrow night. 

So…

Until the next time…I’ll be carving pumpkins and making witches fingers!

candy coma

So much for burning myself out on chocolate.  I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was to roll out of bed and stumble into the kitchen for a funsize Snickers bar.  I knew I was in trouble…there was still a lot of candy left…and we were out of milk!

I started to rationalize with myself that if I ate a few Snickers it would be ok, because they were chocked full of peanuts.  And peanuts are full of protein.  And as we all know, protein is the building blocks of life!

Ok yes, I was stretching things just a bit. 

But I was hungry, and not in the mood to make an omelet.  Not even using my fancy omelet pan.  So I grabbed a few little Snickers and promptly hid the evidence.  Then I put all of the unopened candy bags on the highest shelf in the cupboard so we will have candy for Halloween, and I tucked the opened bags into the freezer for safe keeping. 

Funny thing about chocolate…it tastes even better straight from the freezer…and it just doesn’t seem to be “out of sight” enough to be “out of mind” when the freezer is right there in the kitchen for me to see all day long. 

So fourteen or so hours later, I have eaten myself into a candy coma. 

I did manage to get quite a bit accomplished.  I slipcovered the ninja kitty’s favorite chair to cover the claw marks and cleaned the house for Saturday night’s party.  I don’t know how I did this, but I did.  And now I’m ready for bed.  Not so much because I’m tired, even though I am.  I need to go to bed so I can get away from the candy for a few hours, at least. 

Tomorrow is another day, and I’m sure I will struggle with the bowl of chocolate yet again…if I’m lucky it will be gone before lunch so I will be forced to eat a salad.

Or not…it is the candy season after all.

Until the next time…I’ll be making last minute preparations for the party.

season's eatings

Admit it…the minute you bought the Halloween candy, you started eating it piece by piece.  You told yourself you were only going to have ONE piece of chocolate, but that one little piece…that one “funsize” Snickers bar…turned into several more.  And that was just in the first few minutes of opening the bag. 

Come on people, I know I’m not the only one. 

But I really did try to break the cycle of bad.  I put off the candy buying until today.  I told myself a little white lie that I would lock it all up until at least Saturday.  But my daughter was quite right when she said I should have waited until Halloween morning to buy any candy.  Of course, she said this as she was filling her fists with tiny Reese’s peanut butter cups and Kit Kat bars, to stuff into her purse.  And once the candy bags were opened I was powerless to resist. 

I didn’t count how many bite size Snickers I have eaten.  And in an attempt to fool myself (and everyone else,) I hid the evidence so even I can’t figure it out after the fact.  The truth is I don’t want to know.  I don’t want to know how weak my resolve was.  I don’t want to know how flimsy my willpower has become.  And believe me; I don’t want to know how many pounds I have gained since two-thirty today when I paid for the bags of candy that are even now calling me from my kitchen counter. 

I would lie just a little bit more and say that it will only be a few days of binging on junk and then Halloween will be over and I can go back to eating salads and tofu (as if I was eating that before!) but we all know that would be more than a little white lie.  It would be a great big fat chocolate lie!  Because this week begins a downward spiral of sweets and goodies that will stretch out through the end of October, through November and December, and will only come to a screeching halt on January first when we make our annual resolutions to lose weight and eat healthier. 

It’s a time honored tradition.  The stuffing of the holiday bird…only we appear to be the birds!  Why is it that we indulge so thoroughly on treats for the entire fourth quarter of the year?  Is it the weather?  The waning daylight?  The holidays themselves?  Or is it just habit?

I suppose I don’t need to know the hows and whys of the whole thing.  I just need to be more mindful of my chocolate intake.  I may actually slip away in the night from insulin shock after all of the candy I’ve eaten today. 

But the good news is that I may have burned myself out on Halloween candy…at least for a few days…and by then the candy will be gone.  I will just have to diet like crazy until Thanksgiving, and then diet again until I start baking for Christmas.  I can do that.  It’s less than three months until my New Year’s Resolution goes into effect and I hold myself accountable for my bad habits during the “season’s eatings”. (I borrowed this phrase from author Michelle Bardsley, so thank you Michelle for a great phrase to sum up the feeding frenzy)

And after spending the entire month of January whipping myself back into shape, I should be quite proud of myself.  I will be back into my skinny jeans, and ready for a new wardrobe…

Just in time for the Girl Scout cookies to go on sale and derail me until Spring!

Until the next time…I’ll be stuffing all of the chocolate into a padlocked safe until Halloween!

buccaneer bunny

I don’t know why, but I was feeling nostalgic today. 

It’s all too easy to forget how adorable your children were when they were small…especially when they are in the midst of a teen-life crisis and not very happy with you.  But I think that is the most important time to think back to a moment that defines who they are.  It will make you love them all the more, despite their flaws and idiosyncrasies. 

For me, it was a moment when my daughter was no more than three. 

We were watching old Bugs Bunny cartoons.  Even now, I can’t let an opportunity go by where I can watch Bugs Bunny torment the likes of Yosemite Sam or Elmer Fudd, so it shouldn’t be any surprise that I would make sure my children fell in love with the old standards too.  I even remember the episode on the television this particular morning.  Like most Bugs Bunny cartoons, Yosemite Sam is blown to smithereens, and stands charred and battered to admit defeat to a smiling Bugs.  This particular cartoon has Sam blown up on a pirate ship several times before the end. 

My little girl enjoyed the episode greatly, and even stopped watching at the end to comment to me. 

“Boy, I’ll bet he used a stuntman for THAT part!” She said with a giggle.

I had to laugh.  I was very careful when the kids were small, making sure they understood that “movie magic” wasn’t real life, and that actors had stuntmen to do all of the dangerous stunts, and no one really got hurt.  It was all make believe.  But, it was funny that she missed the fact that this was an animated feature.  No actors were harmed in the making of this cartoon. 

So I attempted to explain this to her. “Sweetie…Sam didn’t need a stuntman.  He’s a cartoon…they can’t get hurt.”

She just looked at me for a second before replying.  “Oh, I know that Mommy…but did you see that explosion?  He might not have needed a stuntman, but I’ll bet he got one anyway!”

The innocence of youth.

I wish I could still watch a cartoon with the belief that they were flesh and blood creatures (even actors as my daughter clearly understood.)  I miss the magic of childhood…both my own and that of my children.  But I suppose as long as I have the wonderful memories, the magic will live on.

As will Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam…with or without a stuntman!

Until the next time…I will be digging out my old Bugs Bunny DVDs for a little dose of nostalgia!

countdown to halloween

It is exactly one week to Halloween, and the countdown is official on.  My annual Halloween costume party is Saturday night, so I have less than a week to get ready for that, and I have yet to hang the spider webs on all the chandeliers.  As Mike walked in this evening to find me hanging webs on the chandelier in the breakfast room, he made a comment about seeing that up there until March.  I have vowed to take them down the day after Halloween…but I’ve made that promise to myself before, and only got them all down in time to decorate for Christmas.  Still…that’s hardly March. 

Clearly he exaggerates.

Thankfully, my back felt much better when I woke up this morning.  Hopefully, it will feel even better tomorrow.  I need to get on a ladder and hang spider webs after all.  As if the real ones aren’t good enough…which of course, they are not.  We are going for over-the-top Halloween around this house.   

Is there any other kind?

The next thing I need to do is to decide what to dress up as.  My choices are wide and varied.  I would like to be Miss Havesham from Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, but Mike thinks I will spend the entire evening explaining my costume.  I’m certain that he is underestimating the classical education of our friends, but he may be right.  I could wear almost the same costume and call myself Norman Bates’s mother.  And who could possibly miss that reference? The other choice would be for Mike to dress up as Elvis while I dress as Pricilla.  I’m still leaning toward Miss Havesham.  What could be more comfortable than wearing a dressing gown and slippers all evening long? 

I still have a few days to decide.  As long as I don’t end up dressing as a witch yet again.  I think it’s time for a change. 

What are you going to be this year?

Until the next time…I’ll be picking out a costume and dressing the house with webs!

oh my aching back

Well, I’ve finally gone and done it.

In an attempt to repeat my “feel good” Saturday, I went back through my steps from the day before…cleaning, repurposing, painting, making things smell good, fixing things, and doing something out of the ordinary. 

I should have stopped with the painting something. 

Or maybe BEFORE I painted something, because while I was painting the kitchen table I felt something give way in my back that sort of reminded me of a rubber band breaking and snapping back.  This was definitely something out of the ordinary.  I haven’t thrown my back out in years…I had forgotten how much I dislike it. 

At first the pain was excruciating.  I was bent over and I couldn’t stand up.  My husband had to help me into a chair.  That made it feel better.  It was only horrible, not so much excruciating.  It is the sort of pain that makes you mildly nauseated just because it hurts. 

I’m hopeful that a good night sleep will make it all better, and as an added insurance, I’m having a few glasses of wine before bed. 

It can’t hurt, right?

Until the next time…Hopefully I’ll be back to normal by morning!

six things that will make you feel better today!

What is October without scary movies and a raging fire?

That is how I finished my day.  Mike started a fire and I popped a DVD in the PS3 and we watched old black and white horror movies from the Vincent Price catalog. 

I am finally in the mood for Halloween. 

I found an interesting blog this morning. It was largely dedicated to home decorating, but the entry I read was about finding comfort in your home and in your life.  It was a list of six things you can do right now to make you like your home more.  I went through the list and attempted to do all six. 

I cleaned something.  It said to find a small area…spend only thirty minutes…and clean this area thoroughly.  Perhaps just sweeping the floors, or de-clutter a cabinet.  I chose to sweep the floors in my keeping room.  And as the little wood chips and dog fur were swept away, I did feel better. 

Next I painted something.  I took an old dresser and painted it in a neutral beige.  I added new hardware and antiqued it by sanding the edges until the dresser looked very vintage, and very expensive.  It cost me less than twenty dollars and no more than an hour to make the change, and it looks amazing in my keeping room!  I would have never believed such a simple change would make such a large impact. 

I fixed something.  It required three minutes and the sewing machine.  I now have a repaired grain sack to hang on the wall tomorrow.

I made my house smell good.  I opened the windows, letting the fresh fall air in.  Then I opened a bag of harvest potpourri and poured it into a bowl on my newly painted dresser.  

I made a few changes in the rooms, “shopping the house” was what she called it.  I was actually able to use the same dresser for this task.  I took it from my bedroom where it did nothing more than take up space with its tired old finish, and moved it to the keeping room where it makes a nice addition to the room.

And finally, I did something out of the ordinary.  This is where the old black and white movies came into play.  I used to love watching old movies, but somewhere along the way, I got too busy.  I slowed things down a bit today, and put on movies that were made back in a time before DVDs, cell phones, and the internet. 

I would love to challenge you to try this list of tasks. Let me know how it made a difference in your day.  It certainly made a difference in mine.  I feel totally refreshed and ready to start fresh tomorrow…I may just do it again!

Until the next time…I’ll be sleeping peacefully after a really nice Saturday!

murphy’s law

I don’t know who this Murphy guy is, but if he knows what’s good for him, he will stay as far away from me as possible…because after the day I’ve had, I would like nothing better than to kick his ass!

I looked up Murphy’s Law online.  There are a few variations, and some indepth descriptions, but at its core, Murphy’s Law states that, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”  

Who knew that anything would really be “everything”?

Due to circumstances beyond my control, the water at our house was out of service from Thursday night into Friday morning.  The water company was supposedly working on the problem, but apparently it was not a high priority for them as Friday morning rolled around and we had spent several hours without running water, and therefore no flushing toilets.  Of course, this would be the absolute WORST time for someone in our house to have a case of diarrhea…thank you so much Murphy’s Law! 

After getting up early to make several calls to the water company, Mike was working from home in his t-shirt and shorts when he suddenly jumped up from his desk with an exclamation of, “Oh shit!”  

This had nothing to do with the toilets. 

He had forgotten that he had a meeting in just over an hour at his office on the other side of town.  Even in the best of traffic conditions it was an hour long drive, and he was hardly dressed for the office.  Luckily, in the midst of the chaos, we had stocked up on water (we had several gallons) for just such an emergency, so Mike grabbed a gallon jug and headed into the shower to bathe.  I microwaved a second jug for a minute to take the chill out, but it was still cold. He washed quickly and dashed out of the house to get to his meeting.

Once he was gone, I realized that the girls were still asleep.   This was a bad thing.  Lauren had a doctor’s appointment in less than an hour, and after that was an appointment for Alexa to have her senior portraits done. 

Of course, having no water did pose a problem for a teenage girl trying to get ready for picture day. 

So…senior pictures…no water.  I’m sure you can guess where this is going.  She couldn’t take a shower, or wash her hair.  No gallon or two of water was going to rectify this situation in the time we had available.  I frantically worked to rearrange the doctor visit for later in the day to give us extra time, and ran around trying to help Alexa get ready. 

After struggling with the pioneer-like water situation, we piled into the Land Rover to make our way to our next destination.

We were several miles from home when, without as much as a squeal for a warning, the brake pedal on the Land Rover suddenly went to the floor.  I pumped the brakes a few times to restore function briefly, but the brakes were all but gone.  There was no salvaging this trip.  We turned around and headed back to home as slowly and carefully as was possible to get the other car that was sitting in the driveway. 

The Honda Civic had been sitting for several weeks without being driven.  It belongs to the kids, and because they don’t have their licenses yet, it has had no purpose.  This is why I should not have been surprised when the battery was completely dead. 

Picture day was ruined.

Even after using jumper cables to start the Civic, we had completely missed the picture taking window.  We had an hour to kill before Lauren’s doctor’s appointment, so we went back into the house where we still had no running water, or flushing toilets. 

I have never had to pee so often in my entire life!

The problem was that every toilet in the house was completely unusable thanks to Murphy’s Law and that bout of diarrhea.  I dumped several gallons of water into the tank in the power room to get the toilet to flush so I could use it one last time. 

I peed again at the doctor's office, as did everyone else. 

Despite getting their way (and lunch) out of the house because of the water situation, the girls were tired of being inconvenienced, and with little hope that the water would be restored before the night was over, they asked to go stay at a friend’s house for the evening.  I was all for that idea, so we piled into the tiny Civic for the short ride. 

Once the girls were settled in at their friend’s house, and the urgency had somewhat passed, the water finally came back on. 

I suppose it was a learning experience, although I’m not sure exactly what I learned.  Mike learned that he can sufficiently bathe with less than two gallons of water (and that it’s much nicer if you microwave it first.)  I may have learned that I could never live in a yurt.  Even with electricity, cable television, and my smart phone at my side, I still need running water.  And lots of it.  It takes a remarkable amount of water for just one flush! 

Of course, this whole ordeal has renewed Mike’s obsession with living off the grid.  He’s been looking at water collection systems online this evening, and I fear we may be getting a delivery in the next few weeks for something large that needs to be assembled.  I suppose I should make some space in the dining room next to the solar energy collector and the portable saw mill.  The compostable toilet is going in the basement…I don’t care what Mike says!

Until the next time…I’ll be taking a shower and flushing the toilets all through the house while Mike fixes the brakes!