It's been a month since I've been to karaoke. I know, because everyone told me so. A month since the last time I hung out with friends and sang. A month since I'd partaken in alcoholic beverages. And truthfully, I don't drink...much. I'm a lightweight. One drink and I'm good for the night. Two and I'm a giggling idiot. But tonight? Yeah, tonight I had three. And after three I start confessing stuff no one should ever have to hear.
Like, how my jeans were strangling me, and I wanted to take them off, but it was laundry day, so I was wearing my ugly underwear (thankfully, I've never been drunk enough to actually flash them.) And how the words underwear and vagina are almost always funny when used in any context. If their raucous laughter was any indication, the people at my table agreed. But seriously, some words just make you giggle, right? Oh, and for the record, I'm never wearing skinny jeans again. They're like a second skin, and believe me when I say, one is plenty.
But a fun time was had by all, and I was apparently the nightly entertainment. Everyone was watching to see the signs. "Will she trip and fall?" Umm...like the magic 8 ball says, signs point to yes. We are talking about me. I'm the same girl who would undoubtedly fail a field sobriety test stone cold sober. So, of course, I'm gonna trip as I walk up on stage. I do that every week. But of course, it's way more fun when I'm channeling Drunky Brewster...giggling my way to the microphone.
At least I know my limits. I didn't drive home, and I didn't send any emails. Drunk emailing is the absolute worst. We won't mention the Facebook posts or tweets I sent though...ok?
And just for the record, I don't condone drinking. Like I said, I'm a lightweight and it takes very little to make me tipsy and goofy. But luckily, I didn't even drink enough to have a hangover. Though, I may never live down my ridiculous confessions. At least I can blame the alcohol.
Until the next time...I'll be deleting my FB posts.