how to love a mastiff and stay dry

I don’t think anyone who reads my blog would doubt that I love my dogs—my Mastiff puppy in particular.  He is the baby of the bunch, so of course, he gets preferential treatment.  I have been known to share my snacks with him (he loves carrots, cheese, oranges, and other assorted healthy treats), often share my bed with him (much to my husband’s chagrin) and take him with me whenever I can.  He is essentially my newest child, albeit a furry one.

But love is not without sacrifice.  I doubt anyone would argue that point.  And I have had to give up a few things in order to have my beloved Mastiff pup (my almost eleven month old Mastiff pup.)

For example, I’ve had to give up clean clothes. 

It’s not that I don’t wash them anymore; they just don’t stay clean.  I’m lucky to get a few minutes of comfort in my clean dry clothes before I get my daily mastiff hug, saturating my pants leg with his first drink of the day.  Later in the morning, he will eat his breakfast just before wiping his mouth on my leg again, or maybe this time it will be my arm.  Either way, I will have a few crumbles of dog food embedded in the fabric like a brand. 

I really don’t mind.  It actually reminds me of when my kids were little.  Only then, it wasn’t slobber and mushed up dog food, it was milk, or juice, or a chewed up cookie. 

But I suppose there are a few things I could do without…I just can’t decide which is worse—discovering Indy has drooled on the toilet seat AFTER I’ve already sat down, or having him come see me while I’m sitting there, only to drool in my underwear.  I don’t know what it is about the bathroom.  I suppose I am a captive audience to his need for attention.  Moms just never get any privacy…even in the bathroom. 

Especially if you’re the mom to a big drooling dog. 

Oh, and to answer the question, how do you love a mastiff and stay dry?  You don't. 

Until the next time…I’ll be doing laundry…again!

life as I know it

Today was mostly back to normal.  And by normal, I mean the arguing had been quelled and things were back to chaos as usual. 

I woke up late to dark gray skies and the relaxing sound of rain rhythmically beating against the roof.  It is extra difficult to wake up on a morning like that.  I think I could have slept all day long if not for some interruption.  I’m not even sure what it was that triggered my eyes to open.  But they did, and I left my strange dream behind to reenter the real world of dogs, and teenagers, and a husband who was less than happy with me. 

It felt like I was home alone.  Mike went to the office to work, Lauren was in school, Alexa was asleep, and so were the dogs. 

It gave me time to get to work. 

I had things to write, and clothes to wash.  I did four loads of laundry before lunch.  Well...before I ate lunch.  It was closer to midday on the clock.  Still, I had accomplished several of the things I set out to accomplish, and there was still plenty of day left.  Thanks to the steady rain that continued to fall outside, I had no inclination to leave the house.

I did eventually leave.  The rain had finally slowed to a drizzle by the time I went to dinner with my son.  It was a nice little respite from the doldrums of the chaos machine that is my life these days.  By the time I got back home, Mike was waiting. 

We talked for a while—no arguing this time—and came to what I can only describe as an impasse.  The truth is...life is never exactly what you plan.  Marriage doesn’t play out like a 1950’s sitcom.  And teenagers will eventually grow out of it—whatever that may be.  I’m pretty sure about these things.  I may not have lived my whole life yet, but I’ve certainly seen enough to know the basics.

When I was a kid I got the Game of Life for Christmas one year.  My sisters and I played it almost non-stop for the longest time, thinking that we had it all figured out. 

I was eight. 

But now that I'm all grown up, I realize that life is not a game. It doesn't always follow the rules, sometimes people cheat, and the babies you collect can't just be tossed back into the box when you're tired of playing. But as hard as the real game of life is, I still want to play...all the way til the end.

Until the next time...I’ll be setting up the board for another round!

it all started with a little dog and a big hole

Since when was life ever perfect?

I think too many people expect to find perfection, leaving themselves open to great disappointment when they discover there is no such thing.  Life is a gift, one you can’t return for a refund. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can start living it without conditions.

To say my evening was less than ideal would be a huge understatement.  In truth, my house was argument central. 

Mike is overwhelmed with renovations and car repairs…all that while trying to stay on top of work.  I could compare it to a tower of blocks on an unstable base.  Even one more block added to the top will bring down the whole structure.

So right from the start, the day was doomed.

It was late morning when I took the dogs out for the first time.  As usual, Joey had to be watched constantly for fear he would discover a new escape route.  But the moment I opened the door, he bolted off the deck with a mission.  He ran around the corner toward the front of the fence and the other dogs were right behind him. 

By the time I reached the front corner, Joey was gone.  He had found a new hole.  I found the big dogs leaning into the dark abyss to see where it would lead. 

Clearly it was a portal straight out of the yard.

While Alexa was retrieving Joey from his latest adventure, Mike was plugging all the holes in the fence.  And no sooner had Joey made it back to the yard when he disappeared again.  He is either the fastest hole digger I’ve ever known, or he has an accomplice.  I suspect he may have two accomplices.  And I’ve seen the muddy paws to prove it.

But another escape so soon after the first?  So soon after Mike had made the effort to plug all of the known escape hatches?  It was that one more block on the pile.  And it was just about enough to topple things from their precarious perch. Almost.

To add insult to injury, it would appear that Indy has gotten tall enough to wag his baseball bat of a tail on a direct collision course with Mike’s groin. 

And as he did, the blocks came tumbling down!

I can tell you this…never try to reason with a man who has just taken a whip tail to the nuts.  He will absolutely NOT be reasonable at this moment.  So telling him he should just wear an athletic cup around the house didn’t get the laugh I was hoping for.

I can only hope he will have come to his senses by tomorrow night.  I mean, how long can a guy hold a grudge?  It wasn’t even my tail!

Until the next time…I’ll be steering clear of the husband until the swelling goes down!

car broke down...must be monday

No progress on the kitchen today.

Not that I expected much.  It was back to work for Mike, and he had to drive to the office for a meeting this morning.  And because he was all the way across town, of course, I needed him to come right back.

My husband’s beloved Land Rover (also known as the money pit) decided to put up a fight while I was driving it today.  The first thing that went was the power steering.  I assumed the fluid was low, even though the old leak had long since been fixed.  But when the vibration under the floor boards started, I was baffled as to what it could be.  It was clear to me that the car was overheating, I could smell the heat, but that wouldn’t explain the power steering, or the strange flapping sound.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t check…the hood release was stuck so I couldn’t pop the hood.

I was stranded in the IHOP parking lot.  And what else can one do when stranded at the International House of Pancakes? 

Eat, of course!

But despite the overwhelming temptation to get something highly fattening, I settled on a vegetarian omelet and a glass of water.  I am determined to get started on my pre-spring diet before spring is actually here. 

After eating I was able to pop the hood and when I couldn’t find anything wrong (not that I would have known what I was looking for) I decided to drive it back home.  Interestingly enough, when I got it back home and popped the hood (investigating the return of the flapping, vibrating sound) I discovered the coolant well boiling, steam leaking from the temperature gauge housing, and the fan belt dragging below.  Apparently when the belt comes off it causes everything to go crazy…including the power steering.  Mike has his work cut out for him…and it’s only Monday!

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Until the next time…I’ll be sticking to my diet (since I can’t drive to McDonald’s for at least a few days.)

almost a kitchen

I can’t say I would refuse a trip to a desert island.  I wouldn’t mind sitting on a beach in a bikini, watching boats sail by in the distance, sipping on a blended girlie drink embellished with a brightly colored paper umbrella.  But that is not the kind of island in my immediate future.  No…I’m excited about the island in my kitchen.  The one that is very nearly finished!

Mike does impressive work.  I probably don’t tell him that often enough, but we don’t want things to go to his head.  Seriously, I am very impressed with how the kitchen is shaping up.  If the island is any indication, I will be spending a lot of time in my kitchen in the very near future. 

Tomorrow is a work day, so it will be a few more days before the island is complete, but I couldn’t resist sharing.

Check out these pictures!

(Talking out the old island to rebuild)

 (Putting things back together)

 (A new island takes shape)

 

 (Check out the new legs!  This is where the counter height stools will go.)

(A nice beadboard accent) 

 (Marble is just dry-fitted in this picture as we get ready for the new marble top!)

Remember, it isn't finished yet.  It still has a long way to go, but I can tell it's going to be gorgeous!  What do you think? 

Until the next time…I’ll be hanging out in my kitchen…a lot!

banned from the kitchen and I wasn't even cooking!

Kitchen renovations were in full swing today. 

Sadly, I was not involved in much of the renovating.  I was banned from the kitchen before things really got started.  I was told that I was more help when I wasn’t helping.  I suppose tripping over and bumping into things makes for a dangerous combination. 

Of course, I was on occasion needed to give a hand when two hands weren’t enough.  Or when something needed to be vacuumed. 

The work is going slowly.  I would suggest it was because I’m not helping, but I’m certain my husband would say it would go even slower if I was helping. The truth of it is, that there is just more to do than I expected.  I think we will be done with the island by tomorrow.  I promise to add pictures when it is finished. 

In other news…

I’m working on a new novel.  A thriller.  Sample and title will be forthcoming…watch for it.  But in the mean time, I need names for my characters.  If you would like your name in book let me know.  I will choose a name from those submitted to me in comments.  The main character is a 30something year old man.  I also need to find a name for his wife, and a few other minor characters, so keep the submissions coming. 

Tomorrow looks to be another rainy day.  I have a lot of writing to do, and a kitchen to remodel…well…Mike has a kitchen to remodel. 

Until the next time…I’ll be watching from the sidelines.

a little taste of freedom

My seventeen year old daughter just got her driver’s license and today was the first full day of “freedom”. 

Alexa got up at seven this morning to drive her sister to school.  Not because she had to, but because she could.  When she got back, she took the dogs out and woke me up so I wouldn’t sleep too late. It was as if she was suddenly all grown up. 

Later, we went together to get the tag renewal for the car she would be driving.  It was possibly our last outing like this.  Now that she has a license and a car, she won’t need me to drive her places anymore. 

After we came back from our outing with the registration renewed on the Civic, she spent a little time working on her studies before turning around and heading back out the door again to get her sister from school.  They were going to spend the night at a friend’s house, like they do on many a Friday night.  But this time, they didn’t need me to take them. 

Like I said before…freedom.

I made her promise to check in before going anywhere, to refrain from texting while driving, and to keep the radio at a reasonable level.  She still has rules to live by, but she isn’t a baby anymore.  I may be a writer, but I am not sure how to put into words how I feel about this new found freedom. 

I guess I sort of like it.  It’s been a very long time since I have felt this free.  I might even take up a hobby…now that I don’t have to play chauffeur every day.  Yes, freedom might just be what the doctor ordered.

Until the next time…I’ll be doing what I want to do for a change.

have you had your hug today?

I didn't think I would ever say this, but I miss my daily hugs.  The ones I desperately shied away from not so many months ago.  I have never been much of a hugger, and my friends unanimously decided they would teach me how to be a hugger.

But since I left the bank, I don’t see my friends as often as I used to.  I suddenly miss those awkward hugs.  And I miss my friends too.

I have to find the time (and opportunity) to spend more time with my friends.  You just can’t replace a good friend.  And now that Alexa has her driver’s license (and is apparently over the flu) I may actually be able to make the time sooner than later.

But not tomorrow.  Tomorrow I have a schedule overflowing with things to accomplish.  It is just one more day until the weekend.  And what a weekend it will be too.  We have a kitchen to renovate!

Until the next time…I’ll be very busy!

swine flu…is that you?

Today was an interesting day, at best.

Alexa had her ADAP course, required for all teens obtaining a driver’s license.  This should have been an easy task.  I took Spencer for his class not so many years ago.  I dropped him off about ten minutes from home, and I went back to get him at the end. 

It was not so easy this time.

The closest location offering the class was over an hour away, the next available date is still undetermined, so there was no option to cancel.  Not if you are the teenager in question and you are itching for your license. 

So when Alexa came home last night with a stomach ache, we assumed it was a bad reaction to the linguini with clam sauce she had for dinner.  When she had a sudden bout of stomach cramps on the drive to Rome, Georgia where the class was taking place, we assumed it was just left over gas from the clams.  And when she fainted while trying on a prom dress (we got there very early and had time to kill) we were hoping it might be the “Scarlet O’Hara” effect.  The dress was an old fashioned lace-up corset style dress.  Women in by-gone days frequently fainted from dresses tied to tight.  It was possible…

But when she threw up every fifteen minutes during her ADAP class, we realized the blame had shifted.  We were not looking at bad clams…no one else who ate them got sick.  We couldn’t blame the dress…or a case of gas.  It was evident that we were looking at something more serious.

And when she started running a fever on the ride home, it was clear we were looking at the flu. 

The ride home was miserable, fraught with many emergency vomit stops along the way.  Thankfully she managed to keep it on the outside of the car, not in. 

I have tucked her into bed, gotten her a glass of water and a dose of fever reducer…just like I did when she was a small child…I think the stomach flu is good for that—reminding us that we are still needed by our almost grown children. 

Of course, I may have less kindness for the flu tomorrow when I am its next victim…Alexa was drinking from my drink on the entire drive to Rome.  I mean…why would I worry about linguini with clam sauce when I had wings for dinner last night?

Until the next time…I’ll be waiting for the stomach ache to hit.

things are getting baaaaaad around here!

What have I gotten myself into this time?

No, I haven’t fallen down an embankment or set anything on fire.  Instead, I accepted a job ghost writing educational documents.

I think I might rather take a tumble down a dusty trail.  The pain and embarrassment would be over a lot faster.

But it’s not really that bad.  I love to write.  And I finally finished the document I have been working on for the past week just before eleven o’clock tonight.  I would love to go to bed, but now I need to write my blog.  At least I can go to sleep without the weight of that paper over my head.

I quit my job in banking because of all the stress, and now here I am…knee deep in it again.  But at least I don’t have to go to an office every day.

I haven’t worn make-up in forever. 

But I do need to think about shaving my legs one of these days so I can go get a pedicure.  I almost went today, but then I realized how bad they were and I changed my mind.  Seriously, my husband laughs at me, but when I have really good dreams and my hairy legs make an uninvited appearance I know it’s time to buy razors.  The sad thing is, I probably have a whole package somewhere in this house…still packed in some box.  Probably right next to the Tums and my deodorant—the one that’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman—one more thing I need to put on that shopping list.

Razors and deodorant. 

Both should be considered practically life sustaining to the modern woman.  Now that winter is drawing to a close I suppose I will have to dig out of my hibernation and come back to the world of women again.  I think I’ll even put that on my “to do” list for tomorrow.  Unpack all boxes that might contain make-up, razors, and pretty smelling deodorant. 

No more Old Spice for me!

And it’s time for a trip to the salon.  My hair needs a fresh new cut and a dose of springtime color.  Maybe I’ll even join my husband on his new diet and P90X exercise routine.

Yeah…now I’m just talking crazy.

I did give up the Girl Scout cookies after only four boxes.  That is remarkable willpower if you ask me.

Until the next time…I’ll be shearing the winter wool for a springtime outlook!

I shop therefore I am

As a woman, I feel as if I should have a strong love affair with the mall.  The problem is, I hate it.  I hate everytihng about the mall...the crowds...the kiosk vendors ready to give up their souls for a sale...the food court, full of delectable treats to tempt me...all of it.  So what would be so important, outside of the Christmas season, to drag me kicking and screaming to the mall, on a Monday of all days?

Its prom season again!

I went dress shopping with Alexa today.  It was a much better experience than last year, mostly because we started at the place we found the best dresses last year, completely skipping the shops we knew would be too expensive.

I was pleasantly surprised with the choices, and although we didn’t actually buy anything today, I think we will be back very soon to make our final decision. 

In other shopping news…

Mike and I went back to the tile store this evening to return a bucket of unused grout, and while we were there, we checked out the backsplash tile for the kitchen.  It is really too bad they don't have a shopping mall filled with home improvement stores and nothing else.  Now that is a mall I would happily visit. 

Have I mentioned how excited I am to finish the kitchen? 

Well…I am so very excited to finish the kitchen.

I wasn’t sure when we first picked this house, but I am certain now that this will be a very nice place to live. 

Once I’m done with it, that is.

Until the next time…I’ll be busy turning a house into a home!

I'll trade you a year of manicures for granite countertops

You should create a home wherever you live.

More kitchen work today. 

Mike and I got up early and started with the cabinets.  We are moving them up to add an open shelf underneath.  We will also be putting granite tiles on the counter and a subway tile backsplash on the wall. 

I can’t wait until it’s done.

A very interesting question was posed to me yesterday.  It went something like this… “why are you doing renovations if you are just renting your house?”

I think of it this way…

Why do women have their nails done or put expensive highlights in their hair?  Why do men spend all that money playing golf?  Easy…because it makes them feel good.  It is money you never get back, but while it lasted, you enjoyed it immensely. 

My husband and I decided that just because we were renting our house, it was no reason to live in a less comfortable environment.  We decided that just like painting the walls, hanging art, curtains, and adding built in bookcases to store our countless books, making some subtle changes to the kitchen to make it more functional for the way we live was a wise investment.  Even if we ultimately don’t get to keep it.

We both spend a great deal of time in our home, so making it the best home possible is something we agreed was important.  And the kitchen is easily the most important room.

So we set a budget, made a plan, and shopped for reasonably priced tile (both marble and granite) to make the changes that would make us feel more at home in our home.  Since we are doing the work ourselves, the cost will be inexpensive, but the results will be amazing.   

Oh, and we have the option to buy this house.  And we might.  It is the perfect house for a pair of almost empty nesters and their menagerie of animals.

But whether we buy or not, we will be living here for a few years while we save up for the house in mountains of North Carolina.  And I would really like the place I live to feel like home…wouldn’t you?

Until the next time…I’ll be doing a little touch up painting in the kitchen.

time for a kitchen redo

Now that the bookcases are built and the weather is nice, it would seem that it’s time for another round of renovations. 

Mike and I laid all the groundwork for the changes in the kitchen. 

We had done an exhaustive search of the internet to find exactly the style of kitchen we wanted to replicate.  I saved the pictures on my mobile device (formerly known as a cell phone) so I can refer to them whenever the need should arise.  The next thing to do would be to draw everything out on graph paper and calculate the amount of granite and marble needed to continue.

Off to the store we went and now we have a load of marble and granite with no place yet to store it.  I suppose we should have thought of that part.  That’s what Sunday afternoons are for, I suppose.  I can’t wait until the kitchen is done.  I think it will make me feel at home, finally.

I promise to post more before and after photos as we progress.

For now, I’m exhausted.  I think I’ll go to bed.

Until the next time…I’ll be dreaming of granite countertops!

do badgers even make good fur coats?

I took Indy to the vet today for his weekly weigh in.  I was several days late.  For whatever reason, I just never took him earlier in the week. But as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason.

As I was standing in the lobby chatting with Liz at the front desk, an older gentleman came in to pick up a prescription for one of his pets.  He was taken with Indy—and who wouldn’t be, he’s such a handsome boy—and after asking several questions about Indy, his breed, his weight, his age and any other questions he could think of, he launched into a tale about the assortment of strange animals he had known throughout his seventy four years. 

It was a yarn that would impress even Mark Twain. 

He started off with a story about his time in the Amazon.  He spoke of pigmies being swallowed whole by the anacondas and of people who fed on human flesh.  “As in cannibals?” we asked.  

Yes…cannibals.

Admittedly, I was tossing in my own clever little remarks as he went.  I wanted to know if they cooked them first, but I kept that question to myself. Still, I couldn’t resist interacting with him as he talked about the enormous snakes and other wild creatures. 

He reined himself in as Indy shifted his large body into a new position; he then launched into a story about the giant grizzly out west that nearly cut him to the bone with its six inch claws.  He shot it three times with a rifle and still it reared up on its back legs and came after him.   It even pulled another man out of a tree by his boot.  It was a miracle they survived.

Not so lucky for the bear, so it seems.

From the bear story he segued into his memories of Hank Williams, Jr.’s house cat. The man had occasion to spend time at the home of Hank Williams, Jr. and he apparently had a mountain lion as a house pet. Lucky for him he didn’t have an ordinary housecat as he also had a barn owl that nested in the stonework of his fireplace.  The owl would just fly around the house as the cat lounged below. 

He took note of how Indy sort of looked like a mountain lion in the body.  I agreed.

He went on about how Indy was such a big dog and asked me if it was hard work to walk him.  I told him he was a joy—not always the truth, but he was being so good laying on the lobby floor while I listened to the storyteller, it was easy to forget his minor flaws.  The nice old man then told us about three very rich old women who lived in near him some years before.  They wore expensive jewels and furs as they took their exotic pets for daily walks along the sidewalk in town. One woman had a wolf with the blackest fur and blue eyes.  One woman had a red fox.  The third walked a badger at the end of her leash. 

Yes, a badger. 

Liz asked him to clarify, and he was sure it was a true badger, “angry teeth and all.”

My wisecracking self suggested the women might have been raising their own fur coats, to which Liz laughed and made me promise I would include that comment in my blog (so here it is).  The old man didn’t know why they had such unusual pets, but he was emphatic that he saw them on a regular basis.   Three wealthy socialites dressed to the nines, walking wild animals.

He finally paid his bill and said his goodbyes.

He was a nice old man, but he could talk your ear off.  He has certainly seen an awful lot in his seventy four years, and as strange as his stories may sound, who am I to doubt a single word? 

Until the next time…I’ll be looking up badgers online!

can you catch the flu over the internet?

I have always believed in the power of suggestion.  It can be used as a tool or a weapon.  But can it actually make you sick?

The flu is going around. 

My husband got an email from the office suggesting that he work from home because someone in the office had been diagnosed with a bad strain of influenza. Since he works from home more often than not, he was more than willing to stretch that out as long as possible.  But it definitely made me start thinking about the flu.

A few days later, a friend posted a status on Facebook stating that she had the swine flu—possibly the worst strain of influenza going around.  She has been very sick all week, and I am hopeful that she recovers fully, and soon.

I have had no contact with either of these people.  So why do I feel like I’m coming down with something? 

I was starting to wonder if you could catch the flu over the internet.   I haven’t been anywhere to catch anything from anyone.  Unless you count my time with the dogs and a few brief encounters with healthy individuals. 

Who knows…maybe the ghost has a cold I didn’t know about.

As for me, I’m going to hit the sack early…right after taking a few vitamins…you know, just in case.

Until the next time…I’ll be taking my temperature, again.

just another day in my boring life

It all started with this dream...

I woke up with the creepiest feeling.  It was one of those dreams you almost need to finish just to allow it to come back around to something good.  It never had a chance, because the phone rang, waking me up.  Try as I may, I couldn't fall back to sleep.

As long as I was up, I figured I would tackle more boxes.  I almost had the entire living room unpacked and put away.  Just a few more boxes and it would be done.  But I had a few errands to run too. 

So off I went to pick up the girls, pick up prescriptions, and pick up the mail from the other house...

And when I got back, I had to pick up the bag of garbage the dogs tore open and the shredded paperbacks the dogs decided to "play" with.  I suppose that is just a few less things I will need to put away.  By the time I was through with the clean up, it was time to look for Joey again.

Yes...he got out of the yard again.

Don't ask me how.  I never really know how it happens.  I let the dogs out and took my eyes off Joey for less than a minute.  That was all the time it took for him to vanish.  Two hours later, I was picking him up from a woman who found him in her yard playing with her two little girls.  It was a fun adventure for all.

Except for me.  Instead, I wasted a few gallons of gasoline, and a whole lot of time, waiting for the phone call telling me someone had found him.  As usual, he found children to play with, and he was happy as can be when I arrived to pick him up. 

The minute I had dropped him back at home, I got a phone call from my friends in the old neighborhood that someone was trying to break into my other house...the one that has yet to be transfered to the new ownership and therefore, still my responsibility.

So I drove as fast as I could (without getting a ticket) to the other house, where I discovered a landscaper, who was working on the house next door, parked in my driveway.  Part of his "crew" was attempting to scavenge the rear yard for treasure, while the other half had found a way into my garage and was looking through my trash, and trying to find a way into the house. 

After reading them the riot act, effectively chasing them away, I marched over to the neighbor's house to chastise him for giving his landscaper permission to park in my driveway.  All in all, it was a rousing good time.

By the time I was done doing that, it was time to meet up with my son for lunch. 

I gave him a pep talk and some motherly advice before feeding him and sending him on his way. 

When I got home again I discovered that the dogs had chewed up one of my husband's expensive shoe inserts...the ones I told him to put away before he went to the office this morning...the same ones that he left within reach of even the shortest of our dogs. 

I have to admit, he didn't get mad when I told him...After all, I did warn him this would happen.  He even offered to take me out to dinner for all the work I did on the house today.  He really is a good husband.  Even if he did leave a bag of garbage out for the dogs to tear open. 

Nobody's perfect, right? 

Not even boring stay at home mom writers...

Until the next time...I'll be starting all over again in the morning!

your Freudian slip is showing

Have you ever had one of those moments? 

You know the ones…you open your mouth to say something benign and out comes something completely horrifying?  Or maybe just lightly embarrassing.

Either way, I happen to be an expert at these embarrassing faux pas.

The speech impediment:

I was seventeen—the same age as my girls—and working at the local racquet club after school.  I remember the day vividly.  It was a beautiful afternoon, not a cloud in the sky, when a woman in her forties came into the club with a big smile.  She bounced up to the desk and announced loudly (and with an exaggerated lisp) “ithn’t it a nithe day?”  

I smiled back at her, and without as much as pausing to think, I replied, “yeth it ith!” I thought she was being playful…just pretending to have a lisp. 

She wasn’t.

You may think I would have learned my lesson from that embarrassing moment, but you would be wrong. 

The same woman came into the racquet club on my shift several months later and quietly asked if she could have, “a towel pleathe?” 

With our last encounter all too vivid in my memory, I was desperate to redeem myself in her eyes.  I gave her a wide smile and blurted, “Of courthe you can!”  It just came out of my mouth, I have no idea how.

But I am not the only one in my family cursed with this horrible habit of sticking a foot into my mouth.  My sister has had her share of moments.  One in particular comes to mind.

The new towels:

My younger sister worked at the racquet club too, and she was working the front desk on the same day we finally got a shipment of brand new larger towels to replace the threadbare, small towels we had been handing out to members. The old towels hadn’t even been swapped out on the day in question, but the new ones were at the ready should anyone come in requesting a towel.

Early in my sister’s shift, a very overweight woman had come in for her evening aerobics class.  She requested a towel, and without thinking, my sister reached for the old towels, handing it automatically toward the woman.  But before the woman had a chance to grasp the towel, my sister snatched it back, suddenly remembering the new towels.  If she had just changed the old towel for a new one without saying a word, she may have been ok, but not my sister.  She looked at the woman and said, “oh wait…I’ll get you a BIG towel.”

Of course the woman thought my sister was referring to her size rather than the existence of new larger towels.

But we both come by our “foot in mouth syndrome” naturally. 

I remember a time we were at a restaurant, celebrating some major occasion where dessert was absolutely required.  As the overweight waitress approached the table carrying a tray heaped with ice cream sundaes, multi layered cakes, and other assorted calorie rich treats, my father exclaimed, “Here comes fat city, heading right for us!” He was, of course, referring to the desserts, not the waitress…but I don’t think she got that inference. 

Certainly not if her facial expression was any indication. 

I suppose I should see the positive in this family trait…it does make for a lot of laughs.  And laughter IS the best medicine.

Until the next time…I’ll be laughing myself to sleep!

renovations can be fun!

The bookcase building went off without a hitch today.

Mike got up with the chickens (we don’t actually have chickens, but I’m sure he wishes we did) and started on the bookcases.  The construction took most of the day, but the results were amazing.  The only thing left to do is to finish painting them—I have a few more coats to go—and then I can begin to fill them up with the boxes upon boxes of books that I have stacked up in the corners. 

I may need another bookcase on the other side of the room. Good thing we have so much leftover wood! 

Have I mentioned how much fun renovations are?  I'll be sure to upload new pictures as things are finished up. 

Until the next time…I’ll be unpacking books!

life is a bookcase

Having a plan is always important.

Mike spent a long time drawing out his plans for the built-in bookcases destined for our new living room.  He determined the dimensions, calculated the measurements, created a supply list, and shopped for the resources. 

This process was time consuming, so Saturday was mostly a wash.  There was not enough time after planning and shopping to assemble the actual bookcases.  He did build a base and prepped for the next day’s work.

He woke up early Sunday morning to implement his plans.

I could hear the saw running before I was awake enough to register what was happening.  The problem with that was I wasn’t privy to the original plans and I did not approve. 

Even small projects can cause large conflicts when the parties involved do not communicate. 

We did communicate.  Loudly.  Admittedly, we bickered over the design of the built-in bookcases until Mike came to the unpopular conclusion to stop the project, just as he was reaching its completion. 

I guess sometimes you just have to know when to tear it apart and start over.

So after an entire day of bookcase building, Mike pulled everything down that he had built, and started over.  And because he started over, the built-ins are still not done.  Major bummer, but the good news is I will actually get the bookcases I was hoping for.  In the end, that will make everyone happier. 

You know what they say… “If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  I would have said it with much better grammar, but still, the sentiment holds true.

Until the next time…I’ll be painting the completed bookcases!

I have some good news and some bad news

First the bad. 

There are no new photos today, mostly because there are no new built-in bookcases yet.  But not to worry, they have been started.

The good news is…I sold the old refrigerator!

I listed the refrigerator on craigslist and had it sold less than twenty-four hours after buying the new one.  That might just be a record for me.  Mike was certainly impressed. 

And more bad news…

Girl Scout cookies are for sale everywhere!  The minute I saw the familiar uniforms and the girls waving cookie signs in front of the grocery store I knew I was done for.  I bought three boxes of Thin Mints and two boxes of Samoas just this afternoon. 

I hope I have at least one box left by morning.  There is a good chance since the older girls are staying with a friend tonight.  I may need to booby trap the freezer to keep Mady out though. 

Which reminds me…the Thin Mints are calling!

Until the next time…I’ll be looking forward to Girl Scout cookie rehab!